Growing Without Schooling #86.  Vol. 15, No. 2.
Date of Issue:  April 1, 1992

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

News & Report
Legislator’s Thoughts, Access to School Activities, Helpful School District, News from Australia, How Many Homeschoolers
Learning from Home-Educated Adults
From School to Homeschooling
Fathers at Home
Handling Doubts and Insecurities

Challenges & Concerns
Custody Dispute, Relative Disagrees, Phone Friends, School Bias

Watching Children Learn
Writing, Update on Older Reader, Discussing Books, Environmental Group

Book Reviews
FOCUS: Coping With Boredom
A Conversation with Ivan Illich
Further Thoughts on Self-Esteem
Older Sister Teaches History

Kids in school are often bored.  Stories of schoolchildren staring out the window and passing notes to make the time go faster are almost cliches.  Kids get bored in school because they can’t control the pacing of what goes on, because they would rather be doing something else, because they don’t understand what the teacher is saying or because they already know it and aren’t learning anything new.

What about homeschoolers?  Do they ever feel bored?  What do they do about it? When we asked several young GWS readers these questions, quite a few replied that they never felt bored because they had so many things they could do.  Others spoke of occasional (or in some cases frequent) boredom, but whereas kids in school feel bored because they can’t control what they do with their time, for homeschoolers the issue has to do with having so much time and so much of the responsibility for filling it.  When homeschoolers feel bored, it seems to be because they aren’t sure what they want to do next.

But the difference between “I’m not sure what I want to do next” and “I have no say in the matter of what I do next” is so great.  The striking thing is how many options these kids in fact have.  Even when they describe being bored and restless, they go on to describe an amazing array of activities which they say they do to pull themselves out of boredom.  Children in school are usually powerless to do anything constructive about the boredom they may feel.  They are restricted to mischief-making or to meaningful activities that become rebellious because they must be done furtively.  When homeschoolers are bored they have the power to do something about it, and even though it may not always be easy to figure out what to do, what they gain from having to cope with that situation is invaluable.

I do recognize that chronic boredom which seems to go deeper than the momentary “I can’t think of anything to do now” may be a sign that certain changes are needed in a child’s life.  Maybe the child needs to know about more options, or maybe various feelings or pressures are getting in the way of the child’s ability to figure out what he wants to do.  Or maybe he has an idea of what he wants to do but isn’t sure how to go about it.  One thing seems clear from the letters in this issue, though: simply telling a child what to do is not the answer, either during momentary restlessness or during deeper boredom.  All the kids who commented on this said that they preferred their own ideas to anything their parents or siblings suggested or required.  But adults can help kids to know about what is possible, what they would be able to do if they wanted to.  I remember talking with a homeschooler who was going through a period of feeling bored and restless, trying to figure out ways to help her through it.  She told me in so many words that she needed to find the answers herself and did not want me to give her a list of things to do.  I didn’t, but I believe I was able, through talking about my own life and letting her know about various opportunities that were available, to give her some material that she could use to work through the boredom herself (of course, I was only one part of this process).  The challenge, it seems to me, is to help kids see what the can do without giving them a list of things that they must do. –  Susannah Sheffer

Office News & Announcements

[SS:]  We’ve had lots of staff changes in recent weeks.  Phoebe Wells has left to spend time with her new baby.  She and her son Eoin had become a special part of Holt Associates during the time they were here, and we will miss having them in the office.  Maureen Carey, a homeschooler who has been active in the Boston-area support group, has taken over the job of opening and processing the mail, bringing with her 7-year-old Aidin and 2-year-old Timmy.  Mary Maher, who has been entering book orders into our computer for three and a half years (handling several Christmas rush seasons extremely capably!), will now move into the bookkeeping part of our operations (taking over from Katherine Doolittle), and Dawn Lease has taken on the data entry job.  Dawn is an enthusiastic new homeschooler who brings 8-year-old Spencer and 6-year-old Courtney to the office with her.  Finally, Nancy Walsh, whose younger child homeschooled for a while and now attends Sudbury Valley School, has taken on the job of placing orders for our bookstore, and Randi Kelley is entering new subscriptions and renewals into the computer (taking over from Lenard Diggins).

For this issue of GWS we’re using a new printer, Cummings Printing Company in Manchester, New Hampshire.  Coping with rising printing costs had been one of our biggest challenges, and we’re delighted that Cummings is able to print and mail GWS at such a reasonable price.

Those of you who have had group subscriptions know that we are now phasing out group subs.  The costs of handling group subscriptions now exceeds the postage savings and it no longer makes any sense for us to offer them.  We know that leaders of group subscriptions have been among our best advocates - it takes a lot of work to convince several people to subscribe, and to distribute all the issues when they arrive - and we want you to know that we are very grateful for what you have done over the years.  Do keep in mind that our ongoing offer of a $5 credit to anyone who brings in a new subscriber at $25 a year has similar benefits:  if you convince others to subscribe, you yourself can save money. (See clip-out form on the back page of this issue.)

In GWS #84 we described the dilemma we feel when people tell us that they borrow a friend’s GWS issues instead of taking out their own subscriptions:  on the one hand, we want to see the magazine read by whoever wants to read it; on the other hand, we would be on more stable financial ground if people who could afford it did subscribe themselves.  A reader now writes, “For the past two years I shared a subscription with a friend, only because she didn’t save her back issues.  Your reminder recently that such sharing presents a problem for GWS financially jolted me into starting up my own subscription.”  We deeply appreciate this reader’s acting on her realization and hope that others of you who can afford to will do the same.

At the last minute, the American Library Association rescheduled Pat Farenga’s speech about homeschoolers and libraries.  He’ll be going to the ALA conference in June of 1993 rather than this coming June, so it will be a while before he can use the information in the library surveys you have been sending in.  He extends his thanks to everyone who took the time to respond to the surveys.

Pat participated in a program called “The Educational Wilderness” that the University of Notre Dame prepared for broadcast on the Vision Interfaith Satellite Network.  Among the other participants were Howard Gardner, John Gatto, and Keith Geiger (president of the National Education Association).

We are thrilled to announce that by the time you get this issue, we should have a complete index to GWS #1-85 available.  Our indexes have always been created by volunteers, and for a while we had some bad luck; volunteers who took on the job would become unable to complete it.  Now Peter and Sarah Gilbert have completed the index to GWS #71-80, and Laurie and Ken Huffman have taken on the enormous job of creating from scratch the index to GWS #61-70, which had not been done, and to GWS #81-85, and merging all the indexes into one.  At press time we have not yet set a price on the compete index, so give us a call or drop us a card if you’d like to order one.

Also available by the time you get this issue will be my book, Writing Because We Love To:  Homeschoolers at Work (#1573, $12.95 + post.).  Way back in GWS #62 I placed a notice saying that I was willing to read and comment on the work of young writers, and the book is about what happened after that - who responded and what sort of work we did together.  The book looks at why it’s important for kids to be able to choose their own teachers and why self-directed learners sometimes choose to make use of teachers.  It discusses how we can give kids access to the broader writing culture and when not writing is useful, and it includes lots of writing by the kids (who range in age from 10 to 15) and lots of excerpts from the letters between us.

Inspired in part by the interviews in GWS #85 with kids who had started their own groups, Sarah-Kate Giddings and I have organized an older homeschoolers discussion group in this area.  (Sarah-Kate is a homeschooler who lives about an hour away from our office and has been volunteering here once a week.)  We sent out letters to kids between the ages of about 11 and 16 who lived within approximately an hour of Boston, explaining what we had in mind.  We’ve met twice so far with nine kids, and plan to meet three more times (we’ve been meeting every other week for an hour and a half).  At the end of five sessions we’ll see whether the group would like to continue as it is, or continue in another way, or stop for the time being.  Three of the kids in the group have just started homeschooling this year, and the others have been homeschooling for several years; all seem to enjoy the opportunity to meet and talk with other homeschoolers.  Sarah-Kate and I had discussed in advance the fact that she wanted the group to offer kids a chance to have fairly focused discussions, as opposed to being simply a social grou  I came up with a list of possible topics.  Sarah-Kate picked out the ones that most interested her, and we sent the list to the members of the group, who seemed happy to go along with those topics.  At our first meeting we discussed whether kids should have the right to vote, drive, and work, which led to a discussion of how kids are treated by adults in general, and all sorts of other things.  At the second meeting we continued this discussion a bit because I had brought in copies of homeschooled Vita Wallace’s article, “Give Children the Vote,” in The Nation (10/14/91) - I encourage readers to look it up).  The kids then went on to talk about how they answer people’s questions about homeschooling.  I think it’s been good to start out with specific topics, even though the group isn’t run like a class and nobody minds if we stray into other topics.  A discussion group seems to be a good way for older homeschoolers to meet and talk about things that interest them, so I encourage others to try forming one.

Because we are getting more and more inquiries about this, and simply for our own information, we would like to hear from African-American and Latino homeschoolers about your particular experiences and perspective.  Maybe we could make this a category on our list of Resource People if there’s enough interest. Could someone who sent for our list of GWS stories about testing do us the favor of sending a copy back to use?  We seem to have lost the original!  Thanks very much.

NEWS & REPORTS

Legislator’s Thoughts on Homeschoolers’ Letters

In GWS #82, we wrote that bill #4936, which would require homeschoolers in New Jersey to take standardized tests, was introduced into the education committee of the Assembly.  Nancy Plent of the Unschoolers’ Network now reports that the bill was not re-introduced during the new legislative session.

Nancy sent us a copy of a letter she received from Charlotte Vandervalk, the Assemblywoman who had originally introduced the bill, and the following part of it may provide food for thought for those who write to legislators:

“There have been many homeschoolers who have written to me in opposition to the bill.  Some letters were written from the heart, but many were condescending.  Why would so many homeschoolers think that I could not possibly relate to their efforts?  Why would not the letter-writers minimally read the bill before raising their objections? …  While I feel that the bill could be justified, I did not wish to pursue it because I am concerned that others may seek to add to or amend the legislation as it moves through the legislative process.  I recognize the good intentions of the homeschooling families and am familiar with the generally high quality of education resulting from homeschooling.  Therefore, I did not want to risk opening up a can of legislative worms and have the original intent of the bill become radically changed.”

Access to School Activities in Oregon

Oregon homeschooler Kim Gordon sent us this article she wrote for her state newsletter:

Last spring, our legislature passed a Homeschool Interscholastic Activities law known as House Bill 2574, allowing homeschool students to participate in interscholastic activities in the school district in which the homeschool student resides.

Before school opened this fall, the Board of Education adopted a temporary rule to allow homeschool students to participate in interscholastic activities at the beginning of the school year.  The rule required that students score no lower than the 50th percentile on their yearly standardized test to participate.

In January, a public hearing was held in Salem on the proposed permanent rules for the law.  The main difference between the temporary rule and the proposed permanent rule was that the minimum composite test score for eligibility to participate would be lowered from the 50th percentile to the 23rd percentile.

Kim Gordon, representing the Homeschool Political Action Committee, along with five other individuals from across the state, testified at the hearing.  Nearly all testifying argued that the law did not treat homeschoolers (and school students) equally.  Only a small percentage of schools in Oregon set any standard for their students to participate in interscholastic activities.  Of those that do, a 2.0 grade point average is the highest requirement.  The Board of Education estimates that a 2.0 grade point average is equal to a 23rd percentile composite score. Homeschoolers are therefore being required to meet the highest standard.

The 23rd percentile is 8 percentiles higher than that required to homeschool in Oregon.  Who is to say that children scoring below the 23rd percentile will not benefit just as much, if not more, from participation in such a program as children scoring above the 23rd percentile?  (We also addressed the issue once again of why students should have to test to participate or to homeschool.)

In February, the Board of Education adopted the proposed rule as the permanent rule without making any changes.  To participate in interscholastic activities in your resident district, you must comply with the homeschool law, achieve a composite test score that is not less than the 23rd percentile, and submit the test score to your educational service district prior to participation in the interscholastic activity.

Opposing Bill in Indiana

Susan Weintrob of Indiana writes:

Indiana has been an extremely easy state to homeschool in, with a mere registration at the beginning of each school year.  There are no assessments, teacher supervision, or any contact necessary with the public school system.  Therefore, we were all surprised when a bill was introduced by the Speaker of the Indiana House of Representatives, Mike Phillips, that would have greatly regulated homeschooling. Homeschooling parents would have had to submit an application to the state board of education, and would have had to “prove to the board’s satisfaction that the home school’s operation is equivalent to that which is offered in the public school for the same grade levels.”  Local superintendents would assign licensed teachers to each family; the teacher would monitor students’ progress, administer annual assessments, and receive “representative copies of the student’s class work,” all of which would in turn be submitted to the state board for review.

Phone committees across the state went to work and I am sure most homeschoolers called and wrote to their representatives.  The result was that the House Education Committee dropped the bill.  We all breathed a collective sigh.

It so happened that the son of a friend of mine was a legislative intern in the Indiana House during this time, and he said that many educators will be pressing to regulate homeschooling.  The main reason seems to be that due to economic considerations, jobs will be scarce and budgets cut.  The heavy homeschooling supervision would create many jobs; therefore the teachers’ union supported this bill.

I spoke to many legislators and to friends of homeschoolers during this time.  Many of them cautioned me that this would not be the last time such a bill would be introduced.  This time around was to feel the waters and we should all be prepared to present our case.

I sent a letter to the Education Committee summarizing the research done on homeschooling in the last fifteen years (much of this information I was able to get from GWS and from books I have ordered from John Holt’s Book and Music Store). Many legislators did not know this information.  Unfortunately, many educators and some politicians do not care about homeschoolers’ achievements or development, but are angered by those of us who choose a different path.  This lesson made me realize how much homeschooling is part of our family’s lifestyle, and how we would feel a great loss if we were forced into another form of education against our will.

One lawyer gave me some excellent advice.  He suggested writing my legislators friendly letters several times a year.  The letters would tell about some interesting projects we did as homeschoolers and express our hope that he or she would continue to support our legal right to pursue this alternative form of education.  Then if a problem occurs, we have already made contact with our representatives and can have a more productive encounter.  We should also let our representatives know of current homeschooling research, which would relieve many anxieties about equivalent education and socialization, topics which seem to recur in discussions about homeschooling.

During this same period another incident occurred which also required my protecting our rights as homeschoolers.  A friend of mine is a chess master and offered to run a few sessions about chess for interested homeschoolers.  He teaches at the same university that my husband and I do.  When quite a few homeschoolers expressed an interest, he offered to have them meet at the laboratory school associated with the university, where he has a chess club for those students and any university students who are interested.  We set up four sessions, publicized in our newsletter.  Innocently, my friend mentioned our meeting to the principal of the lab school, who refused to have us in the building.  He said their insurance didn’t cover non-lab students, and “if they want school programs, let them go to school.” As my friend is a volunteer, no money was spent, nor were school facilities opened just for us as the building was in use anyway.  So there were no reasons for homeschoolers not to participate, except this man’s prejudice.  I called off the sessions and stewed for three days.  Then I called the university’s affirmative action office and explained that we were a group being discriminated against.  I discussed the situation clearly and unemotionally.  By that evening, the principal had called both me and my husband separately to apologize, and to welcome us to his school.  It is true that part of his apology was, “I didn’t realize who you were.” This angered me, as it meant that if he could have gotten away with it he would have.  The fact that my husband and I were faculty members should not have mattered.  I know the person in charge of affirmative action, as we had gone to school together.  I realize that all of these factors influenced the outcome, but I was pleased that I could effect a change and that my children could see that in a democracy we can make changes, not always so quickly or easily, but our efforts are needed.  The chess club has met with us now for three weeks, and all seems to be well.

Helpful School District in Ohio

From Debbie Westheimer (OH):

We live in the friendly school district of Batavia, Ohio.  Batavia is a rural town east of Cincinnati.  It is a village district with one elementary, middle, and high school.  We have sent our notification form to Robert Whitman, the Clemont County Superintendent.  This year our contact person is Larry Vaugn, the Superintendent of the Batavia School District.  He is the person we are to contact concerning testing, pupil progress reporting, and any other questions we may have.  This is the first year that our contact person is a superintendent.  In past years we have been asked to contact our local elementary school principal.  The principal we contacted two years ago is no longer with our school district, but he helped our family begin a cooperative arrangement with our local school.

We began homeschooling in 1988.  Sometime in October of that year, I called the principal to see if he was interested in progress reports throughout the year.  He did not see that as necessary, and turned the whole conversation upside down.  He said, “I should be asking you if there is anything we can do for you.”  He invited our family to use any part of the school and materials that we might like.  We ended our conversation with an appointment to meet in person.  It just so happened that a friend in our Quaker meeting was (and still is) an art teacher at this school.  We made arrangements for our oldest son, then in the second grade, to take her art class.  We have never used the resource center or school library, yet these were offered, as well as school pictures.  We were invited to take advantage of as many classes, programs or services as we like.  That first year we also borrowed workbooks and texts.  At Gabe’s request, in the fall of 1990, he took speech classes.  This year, my second son Nathan is taking saxophone lessons from the band teacher.  Both boys have also been involved in team sports through the school.

As for assessment, we have used the California Achievement test through Clonlara. Last year we also did a portfolio review and used the portfolio for our evaluation, sent in along with our notification form.

I believe my family has the right to utilize the school in the same ways as other community members use the facilities and services.  I appreciate that our right has been respected and choices have been made available through friendly invitation.

News from Australia

Australian homeschooler Isolde Petersen sent us a copy of a bill that was proposed in the Victorian Parliament at the end of last year (in Australia, as in the U.S., homeschooling laws vary from state to state).  The bill, called The Education (Out of School Education) Act 1991, allows parents to homeschool only if they have been granted an “out of school education certificate.”  The bill goes on to detail the requirements for applying for the certificate and the factors the Chief General Manager (a government official) must consider when reviewing the application: whether “the instruction the child will receive is comprehensive and balanced and is in the subjects which children of comparable age, ability, and maturity would ordinarily undertake in a state school,” whether the lighting, ventilation, etc. of the home are adequate, and the number of other children with whom the child in question is to be educated (which must be no more than 4 “unless there are special circumstances”).  Under the stipulations of the bill, once the certificate is issued and the parents are homeschooling, the Chief General Manager can appoint representatives to visit and examine the home school “at any reasonable time,” “require information and documentation about the child’s education to be given to them,” and “take any other action determined by the Chief General Manager for the purpose of assessing or monitoring the child’s education.”

At GWS’s press time, the bill had been read twice (out of the required three times) in the Upper and Lower Houses of the Victoria Parliament.  According to an article by Jo-Anne Beirne in the January/February 1992 Australian Homeschool Journal, homeschoolers are working to oppose the bill because it is much more intrusive than the existing law, which does not require homeschooling families to register with the state, but only requires that if challenged, the family prove in court that they were providing regular and efficient instruction.

How Many Homeschoolers?

From the December-January issue of Update, the newsletter of the Arkansas Christian Home Education Association:  “According to statistics by the Department of Education, as of December 15, 1991, approximately 3200 [children] have been registered to homeschool in Arkansas this year.  This is a new high number for the homeschooling experience in this state.  We continue to grow approximately 20 to 22 percent in numbers each year.”

From the Winter 1992 issue of the Pennsylvania Homeschoolers newsletter: “According to official statistics compiled by the PA Department of Education, there were 3541 students enrolled in home education programs during the 1989-90 school year, and 4844 students enrolled in home education programs during the 1990-91 year, for an increase of 37% over the one-year period.

From the February 1992 newsletter of the Wisconsin Parents Association:  “As of February 13, 1992, there were 7429 homeschooled children in Wisconsin (according to official figures from the Department of Public Instruction), indicating that the modest yearly increase we have been experiencing is increasing.  Assuming there are a total of approximately 950,000 children of school age [in Wisconsin], homeschoolers continue to represent less that 1% of the total … Be prepared to inform critics that homeschooling is growing slowly and that there is no evidence that alleged truants are turning to homeschooling to escape form the compulsory school attendance law.”

And a mailing from the Home School Associates of New England provides these figures:

Number of children in New Hampshire’s recognized home school programs: ‘90-’91:  732 ‘89-’90:  588 ‘88-’89:  556 In Vermont: ‘90-’91:  860 ‘89-’90:  500 ‘88-’89:  460 In Maine: ‘90-’91:  1620 ‘89-’90:  1144 ‘88-’89:  703 Sources in all cases are the state departments of education.

NEWS BRIEFS

For addresses of state and local organizations, see GWS #84 or our Homeschooling Resource List, available for $2.50.  Be sure to check updates in GWS #85 and in this issue, too.

Bill Would Give Parents Choice of Tests

Arizona:  Dave Codier of Bethany Home Educators told us that House Bill 2075 is now being considered.  Whereas the current law requires homeschoolers to use only the Iowa Test of Basic Skills in the annual testing, the bill would allow homeschoolers to choose from among several standardized tests.  It would also give parents more choices about where to submit the test results:  the current law requires that homeschoolers submit the scores to the local superintendent, but the bill would broaden this to allow parents to submit the scores to some educational entity, including homeschooling support groups and private schools.

Council’s Report Opposes Further Regulation of Home Schools

British Columbia:  Homeschooler Stephanie Judy told us that last November a BC school board submitted a motion to the provincial council of school boards proposing that the Ministry of Education determine the general nature of homeschooling programs and establish a way of monitoring homeschoolers’ progress. (The current BC law requires only that homeschooling parents register their child at a public or private school, which simply means giving the child’s name and age.)

According to Stephanie, the council referred the motion to a subcommittee which in turn assigned someone to study home schools and create a discussion paper about the issue.  Homeschoolers wrote letters to the administrator who had been assigned this task, and in mid-February the subcommittee presented a report to the council.  It countered all the arguments for further regulation of homeschoolers that the school board members had originally put forth.  The report’s final recommendation was that there be open communication between homeschoolers and public schools and that homeschoolers be made to feel welcome.  Though there is nothing to prevent the original motion from resurfacing, Stephanie says that homeschoolers feel pleased with the report.

New Rules on Testing Alternatives and Neglect

Hawaii:  In GWS #83 we reported that proposed regulations were awaiting formal approval.  They would have allowed homeschoolers and principals to come up with an alternative way of evaluating students’ progress in lieu of the tests which had been required after grades 3, 6, 8, and 10.  Linda Inouye of Friends Learning at Home recently sent us the new rules which were adopted in November and now have the effect of law.  In addition to the alternatives to testing, the new rules have two clauses that were specifically requested by homeschoolers:  (1)  In the section that says that the principal may intervene in a homeschool if there is reasonable cause to believe educational neglect exists, homeschoolers asked for the additional phrase, “Reasonable cause for educational neglect shall not be based on the refusal of parents to comply with any requests which exceed the requirements of this chapter.”  (2) When homeschoolers want to take college entrance exams, “the principal of the local public high school shall, upon request, supply written acknowledgment that a child has been homeschooled in compliance with the requirements of this chapter.”

New Proposed Rules for Homeschoolers Who Want Public School Diplomas

South Dakota:  Deborah Bydlon sent us an article from the 2/12/92 issue of the Rapid City Journal which says that homeschoolers may soon have to pass competency tests proving that they meet public school requirements if they want to receive high school diplomas.  According to the article, the state Board of Education approved the proposal but it must go through two more readings before it actually becomes policy.  If the policy passes, public school teachers will have to develop standardized tests for home schooled students in each subject.  At GWS’s press time we had not heard whether homeschoolers were making any effort to oppose this policy.

CALENDAR

April 25, 1992:  John Taylor Gatto and Linda Tagliaferro will speak about “Options in Education:  Alternative and Homeschooling” at Goddard Riverside Community Center in New York City.  For information call the Learning Alliance.  212-226-7171

May 1-2:  Homeschool Associates of New England conference at the Sheraton Tara Castle in Framingham, MA.  Pat and Day Farenga will give a worksho  For info: 207-777-1700.

May 16:  Homestead Library Services Educational Resource Fair at Morse High School in Bath, Maine.  Curriculum fair, workshops, speech by John Taylor Gatto.  For information:  Jan Emersen.  207-729-7247.

June 28-30:  Homeschooling and Family Learning Fair at Whitworth College,  Spokane, WA. sponsored by the Family Learning Organization of Washington.  For information: 509-468-2505 or 509-467-2552.

Sept. 22-25:  Oregon Homeschool Chautauqua.  For information send SASE to Oregon Chautauqua, 5360 SW 192nd Av, Aloha OR 97007.

We are happy to print announcements of major homeschooling events, but we need plenty of notice.  Deadline for GWS #87 (events in July or later) is 5/10. Deadline for GWS #88 (events in September or later) is 7/10.

LEARNING FROM HOME-EDUCATED ADULTS

J. Gary Knowles, a researcher at University of Michigan’s School of Education, sent us a draft of a paper called “We’ve Grown Up and We’re OK”:  An Exploration of Adults Who Were Home-Educated as Students.”  (His address is Room 1228A School of Education, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor MI 48109-1259, and he still wants to hear from grown homeschoolers.)  Knowles sent 113 surveys to people he had identified as having been homeschooled, and mailed 214 surveys to homeschooling organizations who in turn sent them to people on their mailing lists.  He received 53 surveys, and conducted life history interviews with those who had agreed to be interviewed.  Here is an interesting excerpt from the paper:

Life history data, in concert with survey data, suggest that these people are not liabilities to society.  While most were earning relatively modest incomes, none were unemployed, and none were on any form of welfare assistance.  There was no evidence to suggest that they were not actively participating in their communities, although some of the adults indicated that they were not as comfortable participating in the community as they might have wished.  In part the origin of this feeling may rest in the fact that some were, in a sense, dislocated from their home country communities as they accompanied their parents traveling or working in foreign positions.

Invariably, high levels of autonomy and independence were the common hallmarks of these individuals and that was evident across a wide number of dimensions that were explored.  And that independence or autonomy was not only highly valued, but it was evident in their work patterns and occupations, and the kind of participation within their communities of residence.

As North Americans, particularly citizens of the United States of America, continue to question the function and operation of public schools, including their format and structure, experimentation with new forms of schools seems, in the not too distant future, more than remotely possible.  The most creative and innovative homeschool parents and home-educated adults have extensive knowledge about learning and facilitating learning in alternative and diverse contexts to share with professional educators.  One could envisage future small neighborhood learning centers taking the place of large schools, as we know them, and parents such as these adults, along with professional educators of various kinds, leading the way. Studies that further explore the attributes and characteristics of home-educated adults will be useful.  And, in concert, studies that draw out the pedagogical knowledge of home educators, and the sources of that knowledge, may prove to be particularly beneficial for understanding their intents and practices, and the students that emerge from them.

Far too prevalent in the home school research literature are studies that investigate the “average.”  Studies of the most accomplished and least successful of home school students, and their lives and careers, is also an attractive and potentially productive research notion, as is exploring the most innovative and creative of home schools and the parents who facilitate them.  Further, as a teacher myself, and a teacher of teachers, just as I learn from the students I work with and experienced teachers, I can also learn from home educators, especially those who display the most creative and innovative practices and thoughts about home education.  And, clearly, understanding the complexities of the less successful home schools may also be important, though, no doubt, a very difficult task.

Too much research into home education, thus far, has focused on quantifying aspects of the method without attention to the complexities of the human dimensions.  In this regard, Kaseman and Kaseman (1990, 1991) are right on target in their criticism of research as it has most commonly been “performed” on the “subjects” of home-educating families.  Efforts to explore the richness of the human experience associated with home education may be most helpful and informative to the general public, to professional educators, and even to policy makers, but certainly the home school community and the particular families themselves ought to and are most likely to benefit.  In one sense, many within the home school research community are bound in their thinking about research by the same kinds of shackles that are evidenced by professional educators’ insistence on quantifying the education process and the progress of children as they attend formal schools.  A shift in paradigm could describe many of the needed changes in research into home education.

Furthermore, many home-educated adults play active roles within the communities in which they live.  This suggests that some of them have not been denied productive experiences of democracy.  Opponents of home education claim that public schools, as microcosms of society, are eminently suited to the role of preparing students to live in a deomocratic society.  However, home schools may, in some cases, better prepare students as productive citizens simply because students at home most of the time may have many more meaningful opportunities to act democratically within the parameters of the family.  And, certainly, vicarious learning of democratic principles is - compared to students learning about it in uninviting ways in school - as meaningful when students do it at home.  Simply because students spend considerably more time within the confines of the home, as compared to spending large amounts of time attending formal school, their presence and decisions within the affairs of the family are more evident (and central in their thinking) than experienced in non home-educating families.  In comparison, public school-educated students may exhibit less commitment to ensuring democratic actions within the home.  These alternative positions notwithstanding, research which explores the process of learning about and practicing democratic principles may be of particular use, since teaching about democracy is often touted by both public schools and some home schools as being an important component of the curriculum.

Moreover, in home school families that I have studied recently… political activity is of high importance.  And, among some of these families, there is ample evidence to suggest that children are exposed to a wide range of meaningful political activities and opportunities for learning about democratic participatory behaviors and principles.  Indeed, as a group, the home-educated adults in this study appeared stable, independent members of society, individuals who are participating in democratic communities.  In light of recent criticism of public schools (for example the article “Education for Democracy” published in the American Educator, Summer, 1987, states that there is “growing evidence that today’s young people are coming of age ill-equipped to preserve and extend their political heritage…”), continued research on the effects that home-educating parents have on their children, and their emphases on practicing participatory democracy, may contribute to understanding what educational strategies enable students to become fully functioning participants in a democratic society.

Further, I sense that, in many contemporary home school cases, greater levels of student-directed learning take place.  Certainly, the home-educated adults attest to this phenomenon.  And, many decisions about daily activities are left in the hands of students;  high locus of control is evident in many home school students that I have observed.  If this be the case for the home-educated adults, this is one explanation for their relative surefootedness.  Studies which explore issues of student-controlled outcomes and their locus of control may provide valuable insights.

GOING FROM SCHOOL TO HOMESCHOOLING AT 14

We’re hearing from more and more teenagers who are just starting to homeschool after being in school for many years.  Simone McGuire of Oregon left school in the middle of ninth grade, and when she had been out of school about three months we spoke with her about what it is like to decide to leave school and to make the transition from school to homeschooling:

How did you learn that it was possible to leave school?

My mom’s friend was talking about this great book she had read, and it turned out to be The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn.  My mom looked at it a little bit and then decided to buy it.  I read it first and I said to her, “Mom, after you read this book, you’re not going to want me to go to school ever again.” After reading the book I kind of realized that I wasn’t going anywhere in school and that I was having a really hard time.  I decided that as soon as possible, I would like to get out of there.

How had you felt about school before reading the book?

I liked school until fifth grade, and then it got a lot harder.  It felt like you had to work harder for less.  I never really liked it during the past few years, but I never thought about leaving.  Quitting just wasn’t an option.  It didn’t even enter my mind.  I was unhappy - I was always tired, and grumpy, and I wasn’t doing well at all.  But I didn’t know I could leave.

What were the parts of the book that spoke to you, or made sense in terms of your experience?

I liked the stories of kids who were out of school, and where the book explained all the other things you could do besides go to school.  And I always knew this, but I hadn’t ever thought about it - that school is like a jail.  That sentence made me think, “Oh, gosh, yes, that is the way it is.”  I had always thought that if you quit school you were nothing, a failure, but the book made me see that that wasn’t true.

It’s interesting - anyone can read a book, but not everyone actually takes a life-changing step after reading a book.

We decided that I would try it out, and that if I didn’t like it I could go back to school.  So it was kind of like changing my life temporarily, which made me more comfortable taking the ste

When you were just beginning to think about it, did you have any sense of what you would do if you were out of school?

I wanted to take more art classes, and I wanted to go to LCC, the community college here.  And I really wanted to just take it easy for a while - getting up at 6 and going to bed at 11 had been really tiring, so I think at first I didn’t want to do anything.  I just wanted to rest, take a break, and then after a while start doing other things.

What were some of the things you worried about when you thought about leaving school?

I worried about my dad and stepmom, because they’re very school- and career-oriented, and I worried that I wouldn’t get anywhere, I wouldn’t learn anything, and would just become a failure.  My dad was pretty understanding, though.  He said, “Well, if that’s what you want, it’s OK.”  I think he understood that what I was doing wasn’t the same as dropping out.

How soon after reading the book did you leave school? About a month afterwards, at the end of the first term.  I basically left as soon as I could.

How did the kids at school react to your decision?

They had a really hard time with it.  I said, “I’m doing homeschooling,” and they asked, “Is your mom teaching you?”  I said, “No, I’m learning, myself,” and they couldn’t understand it at all.  They just said, “Well, that’s stupid.”  I kept trying to explain that it wasn’t stupid, that it was the way I wanted to do it and that it was working out, but I figured out that they’re so caught up in school that they don’t understand how it could be any different.  My idea sounded ridiculous to them because they thought, how can you learn if you’re not in school?  I kept saying, “Well, you have to read this book!”

Now that you’ve been out of school for a little while, have you been able to give them a sense of your life and explain yourself any better?

Well, since the middle of junior high I had become - not a loner exactly, but I was doing everything alone and my friendships were starting to grow weaker.  So I haven’t kept in touch with people from school very much.  For a while I was going to the school once or twice a week to eat lunch with my best friend there, but she just moved to California.  I saw her out of school too, and we would sometimes talk about what I was doing.  She was a senior, so she was excited about getting out of school herself, and I think that helped her to understand.  A few people were jealous, I think.  One friend of mine said, “My mom would kill me if I even brought that u”  Another friend who has a really active social life couldn’t imagine leaving that.  But you can still get together with people after school and on weekends, and you can meet for lunch the way I did.  I don’t think you lose all your friends just because you’re not in school.  And I’m looking forward to meeting new people, too. Everybody - not just kids at school, but my parents’ friends - would ask me, “What do you do all day?”  I would answer, “I don’t have a plan for every single day.  I get up , eat breakfast, go to the library or go to the mall, read a book or write a book report…”

It must have been a new experience to have so much time in which no one was telling you what to do.

I didn’t get bored at all.  At first I thought, “Oh my God, I’ve got 24 hours on my hands, every single day,” but I didn’t feel bored even though I hardly did anything at first.

Last summer I was volunteering at a low-income family center, doing filing, and I called them up and am doing that again once a week.  I also called up my mom’s friend and arranged to do filing at her office.  I guess I’m into office work!

A while ago my mother and I decided that I would get a dollar for every book report I wrote, because we decided that I needed to get going a little bit.  I’m having fun with that because I love to read, and I like knowing that I don’t have to write the reports by a certain time.  One thing I figured out in school is that in high school they kind of drop reading and writing, so I feel I have to get back in the mode of doing it.  I felt that in high school I didn’t read anything that I really learned something from.

I’m also figuring out that I like American history.  I like old-fashioned clothes, and learning about gravestones and the people’s life stories, and the history of little towns.  One day I thought to myself, “I guess that’s American history,” so I’m thinking of getting some books and researching more about it.

I’ve never done very well in math, and now I want to take a math class at the community college.  It’s not that I didn’t like math, but nobody ever took the time to get me into it.  This year in school I liked the teacher and I started out doing well, but then I lost the momentum - I started out getting A’s, and by the time I left I was getting D’s.

It sounds as though you feel that you’re starting to come out of that vacation period that comes right after leaving school.

Yes, I’m starting to feel that I need stuff to do.  I’ve always like oil painting and ceramics, and I’m thinking of taking a class and learning to use a potter’s wheel.

One big thing that’s changed is that I used to be really uptight, and tired, and cranky, and Mom and I would always get into yelling fights about homework.  Now it’s so much nicer.  I’m much easier to get along with, and we hardly fight anymore.

Why do you think your relationship is so much better?

Well, I think I wasn’t getting enough sleep before, and that made me cranky all the time.  And it’s hard to be in the school building all day, knowing that you’re also going to have three hours of homework and then get up early and go back to school. It’s very stressful.  My mom and I have always had a close relationship, but in homeschooling you get to be with your parents more, and you learn more about how they feel, and about how you feel.  Kids who hate their parents might think, “I wouldn’t want to spend all that time with them,” but I think they’d get used to it, and after a while they’d realize that there is a person there, with feelings, and maybe they will start to like being around that person.  My mother thinks homeschooling is great.  She’s really glad that I decided to do it.  We get to be with each other more, and talk more.  I’ve gotten a lot more projects done around the house, like making curtains for my room and making a list of all the phone numbers we use.  I used to feel that I never had time for those kinds of things. We’re also planning to have exchange students from Thailand, France, and Spain, and that should be fun.

Now that you’re a bit beyond it, can you say anything to parents about what they can do to help kids through that initial adjustment period when they’ve just begun homeschooling?

Give kids the option of taking a break for a while, and help them through it by asking if they would like you to do certain things.  Let them know that you’re there and that if they want your help they can ask for it.  I don’t think parents should make everything a requirement; it’s better if they give kids ideas that they can think about.  I’d like it if my mother gave me even more ideas, although I understand what she’s thinking:  she doesn’t want to be planning everything for me. She knew she wasn’t going to be in the teacher role because she didn’t want to be and because she works during the day.

Are you comfortable being by yourself most of the day?

Oh yes, I’m completely used to it.  I can get around on my bike or on the bus.  At first I thought people would think I was ditching school or was a dropout, and I worried that everyone was staring at me, but no one has asked me any questions.

For more on going from school to homeschooling, see GWS #76, #77, #78, #79, #80.

FATHERS AT HOME

Not the “Mr. Mom” Stereotype

From David Swank of Massachusetts:

When our oldest child was kindergarten age, I was looking for a job, but then my wife got an offer for a unique position, and she said, “I’ll take it, and you be the homemaker.”  We had been committed to homeschooling, but we weren’t yet sure how we would work it.  When my wife got the better offer, we went with that set-up and continued with it for the next four years.

I had been very active in helping the children anyway, so it wasn’t as though I was laid off and all of a sudden thrown into a household with four children.  It wasn’t the “Mr. Mom” stereotype; we both felt comfortable taking on the roles we took on, and we felt it was the best thing for the family at the time.  My wife enjoys being a mother, of course, but she realized that I was capable too and that the kids weren’t going to be neglected if I stayed home.  When she came home from work she would spend time with the kids, doing things with them that she enjoyed and that I might not have done.  We had thought this through and realized that these years were our time with our children, so all of our activities pretty much centered on family, and still do.  We didn’t do a lot of outside activities without the children; whatever we did as parents, the children did too.  So it’s not as though they weren’t seeing their mother.

Some of the reactions we got from other people were positive and some were negative.  Some said, “Kids should be with their mother,” and others thought that children need the discipline of the father.  So it kind of went both ways.  But in our family we do things so much as a team that even though I was the parent at home, it wasn’t as though one parent took a very primary role and the other just sat back and let it happen.  And even though a lot of people think that the man should be the breadwinner, I think enough of society has opened up that that isn’t such an issue anymore.

Most of the people in our homeschooling group are mothers, although last year we did have another man and he and I got to be good friends.  Sometimes in the beginning I wondered if the fathers would feel jealous that I was becoming close friends with the homeschooling mothers in the group, but I really haven’t felt that.  I tend to focus on being a homeschool parent, rather than a father specifically, so as I’ve become very active in the support group, and have taken on a leadership role, I think it’s been more a matter of how we can work together in the group as homeschool parents rather than as mothers or fathers.  I can understand why many of the letters in homeschooling publications are from mothers, because the one who has to deal with the day-to-day issues is usually the one who has the ideas which spill out into a letter.  But it’s interesting:  in our group’s last newsletter, we had a letter from a father who introduced himself and explained why the family believes in homeschooling and talked about their dealings with the school district.  So I think fathers write, too, even when they aren’t the ones home all day.

Sometimes at our support group activities there is a lot of interaction among the moms, and I’m just as happy to go off with the children and let the moms talk.  I think this is OK.  If the women like to talk among themselves and the man isn’t interested in being part of that all the time, he can take the kids and let the women talk, and everyone might be happy with that.  But it’s so individual, it’s hard to generalize about this.  It could be that there’s a woman in the group who would rather be with the kids than talk to the other mothers.

My wife’s job was a short-term thing, and she’s stopped working now.  I had been working part-time, so I’ve been able to pick up more hours.  We’re in a transitional time in which we’re kind of switching who does what, but I feel lucky that we’re able to have the flexibility to do that.  We’ve always consulted with each other about what the children are doing and how we can help them; I always talked to my wife at the end of the day about what had gone on that day.  So she’s always been in touch and it’s not that difficult for her to take over now.

The differences the children will have to get used to now are more a matter of style than anything else.  A lot of the learning that the kids and I did together was fairly freelance and spontaneous.  Penny is more organized than I am, and she’s looking to have more organization and structure.  But the kids are getting older and they may be more prepared for that, anyway.  So I don’t think the adjustment will be a big problem for them.

I would encourage fathers who can’t spend a lot of time with their children to show an interest in them whenever they can, letting the children share as much as they can of what they’ve done during the day.  Maybe fathers who come home at night can do something fun with the children that they haven’t been able to do during the day, like play a game or do something that they’re interested in - whatever they can do easily and naturally.  It’s important that fathers not slip away from their children as the children get older.  Maybe the parent who isn’t home during the day can help the one who is home plan projects or lessons - just help with getting things ready, which can take a lot of time.  That way that parent can be a part of things and be helpful to the other parent at the same time, and the two parents can stay in touch with each other.

A Worthwhile Job

From Earl Stevens (ME):

When we were expecting our child, my wife Linda was involved in a good career, working with computers, which she enjoyed very much and did very well at.  It made sense for Linda to keep doing that and for me to stay home with our son.  We had recently purchased a big, run-down house and the original idea was that I would do some work on the house in addition to taking care of the baby.  I also thought that I would do a bit of writing in the odd hour or two.  I quickly learned how much work being a parent and maintaining a house is!

So for the past twelve years, Linda has been out in the marketplace and I’ve been at home.  We basically knew from the beginning that Jamie wasn’t going to go to school, partly because we had both been teachers for a while and had been disillusioned with what it meant to be educated in our society.  The more we looked at alternatives, the more we felt that we could do it ourselves.  When I discovered GWS and John Holt, I was amazed that we weren’t the first people to have thought about this.

I think Linda was delighted that everything was working out so well.  She would come home and home would be a really happy place to be.  I think she was happy to have one foot in one world and one foot in the other.  We have a ritual when she comes home from work:  we gather in the kitchen and as I start putting dinner together (or, sometimes, as she does), she learns about our day and tells about hers.

I think if I had been a lot younger when we started this, it would have been much harder.  Many of the men I meet see child care as a kind of Little League occupation, very close to doing nothing at all.  I have a lot of friends who are very supportive, but I do sometimes find myself in situations in which people ask, “What do you do?”  If I say that I’m home with my son, doing home education, I might get a puzzled look or the question, “But what do you really do?”  It opened my eyes to how women in the traditional situation must feel, how one would get very resentful at the suggestion that being at home was doing nothing.  But it was harder for people to understand what I was doing when Jamie was very young.  Now, if I say “I’m homeschooling” instead of “I’m a house-husband” or some other expression, it’s somewhat easier for people to accept.  Still, it can be very tempting to identify myself in other ways, to say, for example, at a dinner party with people I don’t know, that I’m a writer rather than that I’m a homemaker or even that I’m homeschooling.

Now that Jamie’s 11, it wouldn’t be good for either of us if we were together all the time, so I do have much more opportunity to spend time writing or working on our support group activities.

I don’t sense from Jamie that he minds that we do things differently.  I know that he knows how other people do things, but I think he gets a kick out of our being different in so many ways, instead of feeling funny about it.

At first it felt a little bit strange to me that our support group was mostly women, and I would jokingly say, “I’m getting together with some of the other moms.”  But now I’ve been doing it for so long that I don’t even notice it.  Early on, when I was the only father among the mothers at the playground, it was a bit harder for me to get in with the other mothers and shoot the breeze while we watched our kids.  But now, in the homeschooling group, it doesn’t feel like a problem, although when I heard about a retreat for homeschooling mothers I did joke to myself that I would call up and register for it.  But again, I think if I were 25, this would be tougher to bring off.  I feel more self-assured now, and am dealing with fewer of those classic male issues.  For me now, nothing seems more important than rearing healthy children.  Everything else is in service to that. So it’s very clear to me that being at home with children is a worthwhile job.

HANDLING DOUBTS AND INSECURITIES

These writers are responding to Lisa Treichler’s letter in GWS #85, “Worries About Being Judged.”

Raising Nonconformists

From Wanda Rezac (MA):

I have felt many times the conflict Lisa Treichler describes of worrying about my kids being judged by other people.  I thought it was perfect that her letter should appear in the same issue of GWS as John Holt’s quote.  “I think the only way in which children get a sense of their dignity, competence, worth, and self-esteem, is by succeeding by their standards to their own satisfaction, not anybody else’s, at tasks of their own choosing.”

This is the ideal, and when we encourage this in our children, they inevitably vary from the norm.  I could not possibly count the number of times I have been embarrassed by my kids’ writing, reading, choice of dress, etc., and I am ashamed to say that I have often pressured them to come “up to standard.”  Over the years, though, I have come to treasure their independence, and to respect (in fact, be in awe of) the self-confidence that allows them to be just as they are, resisting the pressures to conform.  When I am embarrassed, it’s because I don’t have the courage to be different in the way that they do.

As parents, we can’t have it both ways.  We cannot raise strong individuals who respect their own interests and learning patterns and at the same time have children who don’t embarrass us by being different.  Sure would be nice, but it just doesn’t happen.  My children have different standards than I do.  A messy looking note or badly wrinkled clothes bother me.  My kids cannot understand why these things would bother me, and feel free from such worries.  We’ve talked about how other people might view these things, and they make their own choices about them.  Sometimes I embarrass them in the same way - something is simply not as important to me as it is to them.  I think it is a good process - to learn to bear with good humor and tolerance the foibles of those we love.

The only comfort I can offer Lisa is that it definitely gets easier as time goes on.  My five are aged 6 to 17 now, and I’ve had much practice in gritting my teeth and swallowing my embarrassment.  My children have blessed me because those times were opportunities to become a stronger individual myself.  Every time I went through that anxiety, a little of it dissolved.  As my children have grown, their competence has astounded me, making me see what little faith I had.  Now I can look back at so many of my embarrassments and fears with fond laughter.

Too Much Emphasis on Appearances

Barbara Alward (CA) writes:

I too have had many concerns about how my children will be accepted by other children and adults.  I remember feeling self-conscious once when my son asked me how to spell a simple word in the presence of a friend whose child was proficient in spelling due to much drilling at school.  But we also need to keep in mind how much judging goes on in a school setting.

It’s normal to feel insecure about something as new and uncharted as homeschooling. It’s not an easy decision for us to homeschool; in fact I nearly had a nervous breakdown over the whole education dilemma.  When my son entered kindergarten I was excited and curious.  I became involved as a room mother which meant I saw a lot of what went on at school.  Over the course of the year I became extremely disillusioned with the entire setting.  I came across a copy of How Children Fail by John Holt in a used bookstore.  It was my first encounter with Holt but not my last.  I devoured that book like a starving animal.  At last I had found someone whom I could understand and who validated my feelings and my view of education.

I spent the next two years reading everything I could about education.  I read books written from all vantage points and I found much support for the belief that education and schooling aren’t always the same thing.  I found support for my long-held belief that education is an individual process, a drawing out rather than a pummeling in.

I feel I’m still recovering from my schooling.  I’m convinced that it stunted my growth or at least delayed my growing u  The very roots of many societal attitudes toward educating children and towards children in general are based on the belief that children are not good and must be shaped and brought into the light of goodness.  Alice Miller’s For Your Own Good is an excellent book on this topic.

I believe that humans are complicated creatures, and though I am unsure of myself at times, I also see this as a healthy skepticism.  When you become too sure of yourself you tend to be less observant and that observation can be a helpful guiding principle.  It’s always a good idea to check your own motivations.  I encourage my children to question things also.  It’s true that their penmanship may be lacking and their spelling may not be up to speed, but who are we comparing them to?  (I have a friend from Scotland who says they were not taught cursive writing because it was considered old-fashioned.)  Skills have their place but all in good time.  This society puts too much emphasis on the appearance of things.  We are a nation that is falling apart at the seams - drugs, disease, poverty, ignorance, greed, you name it - and in the midst of it all we have this absurd panic about falling test scores.  We want the kids to keep up a good front for us, but children are like a litmus test.

I see public education as just another institution that has floated away from those it originally served.  As a consumer I am no longer buying that product.  It’s the only power we have, like voting with your feet.  So although I worry about my kids in the world, I worry more about the world we’re all creating and accepting without question every day.

Because We Were Schooled

Audrey Dittberner (MN) writes:

I agree that a lot of our anxieties about fitting in and seeming normal (whatever that is) come from having been schooled ourselves.  The fact that we were not allowed to think for ourselves in school could be one of the reasons why we doubt and question if we are homeschooling or unschooling the right way.

Struggling with Ambivalence

Ken Lipman-Stern of New Jersey writes:

As a new homeschooling parent, I want to thank all of you GWS contributors for providing me with a support system for a very non-mainstream way of life.  My wife has been convinced for years that homeschooling is the way to go (she hated school and found it oppressive and boring).  I for the most part loved school.  The school band and orchestra were refuges for me from a negative emotional atmosphere at home and most subjects were interesting to me.  Yet as a member of a natural food co-op that functions as a spiritual/political/ecological community center, I realize that our lifestyle and belief system is at variance with the consumer/marketplace mentality of much of the population.  In my work as a family therapist I’ve seen boys who spoke of being ostracized for not having Nintendo or not having pump-up sneakers.  I’ve seen kids with homework into the evening with only a brief respite to watch TV, and I wondered about whether this fosters a style that characterizes adult workaholics, who take their work home from the office nightly and never seem to know how to fill free time.

I value the process often described by the creative kids in GWS pages:  the self-motivated learning that takes as its starting point pure curiosity about a subject and leads to a wealth of experiences as the trail unfolds.

Yet I’m scared, too - scared that maybe it won’t work for our Sam (5), that the pages of GWS are filled with special kids who have self-motivated genes.  It takes guts sometimes to take a step away from 99% of the population.  I echo the worries of Lisa Treichler and wonder whether my homeschoolers will be able to read, do math, get into college someday if they choose, function in the world.

I’ve read some of John Holt’s writing and am part of a good homeschoolers’ grou We’re now about ten families who meet formally on Tuesday afternoons and a lot of other times as smaller groups.  From them I’m learning to trust the natural unfolding of our children’s own inquisitiveness.  Some early examples of this are already occurring and have occurred.  Sam has been interested in insects for the last two years and can listen to books describing insects and their life stages for long periods of time.  He amuses himself for hours with small plastic containers filled with his finds from outside.  He also liked working with “machines” (several strings attached to bits of metal that turn or move things).  This led to my calling a radio repair shop and asking them for unrepairable radios and tape players.  Sam and I began taking these apart, which led to both of us building a small electrical circuit consisting of AA battery, wires, a switch, and a small light bulb.  We also liberated the motors from the car cassette units and have made them work, using small batteries and energy sources.  He loves working on this and often works on his own.

And yet I wonder if I’m too involved, since I work with him a lot and offer adult ideas (using discarded radios was my idea and a simple electrical circuit was my father-in-law’s).  Sam and his brother Jonah (2 1/2) ask me to play with them a lot, and since I enjoy playing, I do, but then sometimes I wonder if I’m taking away that sense of initiative.  Yet they do play on their own lots too.

My ambivalence about homeschooling changes with my mood.  When feeling insecure in general, one of the first things I begin to doubt is this relatively new decision to homeschool.  And yet when I feel in harmony, I love the freedom of homeschooling and sharing our children’s wonder at the world.  Since our oldest is only at kindergarten age, my insecure side can say, “Oh well, he can always jump into school a year or two late.”  But still, with the support of GWS and my good friends in our homeschooling group, I am taking this step with courage and camaraderie.  I speak in terms of “I” and not “we” (my wife and I) because she’s already convinced. I’m the one who struggles with ambivalence.

CHALLENGES & CONCERNS

Custody Dispute

A reader writes:

A year ago I was a mother at home with my homeschooled daughter (then 7).  I considered myself a dyed-in-the-wool unschooler, and expected that my child might never go to school.  I had read and subscribed to John Holt’s ideas for many years (long before becoming a mother).

It’s a long story and someday I will write it all out, but in a nutshell, my husband decided to divorce me and to fight for custody of our child.  After a year of lawyers (at unbelievable fees), psychologists, and other “experts,” my child is now attending school.  If someone had told me that all this would or even could happen, I would never have believed it.

My child was registered with the state Department of Education as a homeschooler at the first grade level.  My husband had an “educational evaluation” done which showed that she was reading at the seventh grade level but her math and spelling were “only” at third and second grade levels, so it was concluded that she must be “developmentally delayed” and “learning disabled.”  My husband stood in front of the judge and said his own child is “socially and academically retarded” because of homeschooling.  A judge ruled that I must enroll her in school, and my husband tried to put her in a special school for learning disabled children.  I feel unspeakably betrayed by him, because before he wanted a divorce he was in agreement about our homeschooling (though completely uninvolved and never could be bothered even to read John Holt or GWS).

I’m still fighting for sole legal custody of my child (then I may educate her in the way I know is best), so I am reluctant to have my name or state published, but I would like to hear from others who have experience or knowledge about custody disputes where homeschooling has been a core issue.  I have learned the treachery of having a lifestyle or ideas that are out of the mainstream, about the myth of justice in our system, about the deep disregard our society has for mothers and children, and about how powerful money and male entitlement can be.  I can look back with 20-20 hindsight and see where I could have changed the course of my own custody case if only I knew then what I know today.  Perhaps I could help someone else with my experience and knowledge, too. ——————–

[SS:]  We will forward letters to this writer (please include a stamped envelope). Let us know if it’s OK to publish the letter (anonymously if you wish) as well. Though we’ve had several stories about custody cases involving homeschooling throughout the years, we’d like to maintain a current list of people who have experience with this and are willing to share it with others.  We could make it a category on our list of Resource People, or, if people would prefer in this case not to have their names made so public, we can simply keep the list here and forward it to people who need it.

When a Relative Disagrees

Gail Sichel (NJ) writes:

This fall we notified the Hillside superintendent of our plans to continue to educate Corianna (6) at home.  Her response was on the positive side of neutral -acknowledging our plans, offering to meet with us if we wished, and informing us that given her age, Corianna could be in the first grade in Hillside.  We figured we would plan a kindergarten curriculum but continue what we were doing, which seemed closer to a first grade curriculum compared to what we’d read in books and in other town’s curriculums.

It feels nice to be above board.  In some fundamental way, having made our statement public, we feel more legitimate.  I’ve become more focused and yet laid back and watchful in order to follow Corianna’s interests.

My father-in-law and mother have been quiet and watchful, too, about our decision to homeschool, not saying much one way or the other, as has been their habit over the years in response to some of our unconventional decisions (homebirth, breastfeeding beyond a year, nutrition).  My mother-in-law has been supportive.  My father, always outspoken about his opinions, I suspect was hoping we would change our minds about homeschooling by the fall.  Since we haven’t, he has been upset, and is having a difficult time containing his fears and concerns and disapproval. It is most disconcerting when he voices his opinions in front of Corianna.

I have always been particularly sensitive to his manner and criticisms, so it has been quite tough for me.  But I am growing through this experience.  I am lucky because some people have to deal with authorities who have legal clout.  I am dealing with a paper tiger whose loud roar is heard mainly by me and who in fact has no power to do anything.  I am dealing with the habit of an outdated, internalized authority.  I am coming to a clearer, deeper, firmer awareness of where the authority really lies.  Aside from giving him more to read, to help him understand and perhaps assuage his anxieties, there is not much I can do other than accept my feelings of powerlessness.  Time will help, I know.  The kids are doing fine and we are trusting them and growing to trust ourselves.  It is an old and strong habit to trust others instead of ourselves.  This is another opportunity to break the habit.

I am so grateful for all that is available for me to read.  Right now I’m reading Agnes Leistico’s I Learn Better By Teaching Myself.  I devour my GWS as soon as it arrives.  It has been fun sharing articles with Corianna.

Phone Friends Cure Boredom

Miriam Sullinger wrote in the January 1992 issue of the Missouri group Families for Home Education’s newsletter:

“I’m bored!  There’s nothing to do around here.  I wish I had someone to play with.”

In a nutshell, these are my young daughter, Amy’s, only objections to homeschooling.  We live in the country, with no really close neighbors.  Her brothers are in their late teens, and she wishes she had playmates handy.

I try to bring her into town whenever possible to enroll her in classes, take her to storytimes at the library, and visit with friends.  However, a thirty mile trip each way, into town and back, runs into too much time and money for more than one or two excursions a week.

To our delight, we are able to call into town without extra charge by paying a small flat fee each month.  Therefore, Amy has alleviated her boredom and gained playing time with a playmate by adopting phone pals, most of whom are homeschooled also.  She calls a friend and they “play together” over the phone.  They set up their toys at either end and talk to each other over the phone as they play.

Most games played in the car through hours of travel can be adapted to the phone, such as Twenty Questions.  Now they’ve started reading to each other over the phone, and both are learning to read.  It’s amazing to me how much time can be spent happily in this simple way.

OK to Counter School Bias

Erika Thost (CA) writes:

One of the silver linings of having a miserable pregnancy and being stuck on the couch a lot is that I’ve been rereading all the back issues of GWS (another has been a much improved relationship with my children - lots more cuddling on that couch - and between my children.  Usually I’ve always been so busy with a trillion trivial things.)  While I was reading, some thoughts came up about the ongoing discussion concerning a child’s requests to go to school even though the parents wish to homeschool.  I can’t imagine my children ever attending school, but I also must confess that their opinion of school has not been left up to chance.  In my reading to them I’ve always done a fair amount of spontaneous editing as regards undesirable behavior by characters in the book on such issues.  I also edit extensively when it comes to school matters.  When the book mentions a school bus, it often becomes a city bus.  Walking to school becomes going for a walk.

Now that Tristan (almost 6) is starting to read, I do that less so as not to confuse him.  So I’ve become even more selective in the books we read.  So many books are ridiculously obsessed with the large role of school in children’s lives. It seems to me that the wonderfulness of school is one of those issues where the whole world gangs up on small children to feed them misinformation.  Everyone tells them how great school will be and makes a big deal out of starting school.  Then the children get to have a little fun in kindergarten to get them really hooked before the vice grips start to be applied later.  I think it is only reasonable to counter all this misinformation with an outlook on school from my point of view.

So I feel fine about editing the books.  But I don’t stop there.  When a sweet and amiable friend started kindergarten and started to become aggressive and less sweet, I made sure that Tristan and Clancy (4 1/2) and I discussed it.  No subtlety here!  When this friend stopped school later and became his old self again, that was also discussed.

Another friend from our homeschooling group, overcome by curiosity, tried kindergarten and quit after two days in disgust, I made sure my children heard her and her mother’s reasons for not going to school.

I am not actually as aggressive and obnoxious as it sounds here (I hope).  We have plenty of good friends with school children, and it’s no problem.  Lately, though, I have let myself worry less about their feelings and let myself share the joy that homeschooling is in our lives.  I used to worry about putting people on the defensive and basically did not discuss homeschooling much.  Still, I do not attack schools, and instead just focus on describing our lives, not to proselytize but just to share my life as a friend.

A Good Answer

From Shari Henry (MN):

On the subject of bad test questions, I often think of my nephew, labeled ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), who, when asked to answer True or False to the statement, “Pencils dance,” answered, “True.”  When asked to explain his answer (which was wrong according to the test-giver), he answered confidently, “My pencil dances whenever it moves across the paper.”

I remember at the time (it was a few years ago) thinking the story was kind of funny, even cute, but with time, the tragic implications of this sort of test question have become more and more apparent.

WATCHING CHILDREN LEARN

Writes Herself Instead of Urging Kids to Write

Margie Lesch of Tennessee writes:

When we moved to Texas last January I decided to try some ideas I had been wanting to try for a long time.  One of them was to stop suggesting that Aaron (12) write but to spend time writing myself since I’m the one who really enjoys it.  I began writing letters to magazines about articles they had published and writing a lot to friends.  Friends have always said they enjoyed my letters and I had not written a lot since Aaron was small.  I even wrote a letter to the local newspaper about an article stating that a senator in Texas was going to make it a priority of his to pass legislation for more surveillance of homeschoolers because of the horrible case of the parents starving the 13 year old.  My letter was printed in the paper.

I started reading my letters to everyone in the family in case I said anything about anyone that they didn’t want shared.  They usually appreciated what was written about them and enjoyed hearing the letters.

I’ve tried for a long time to get Aaron to write, but I think I could’ve been a more patient teacher.  I do better when I just answer the kids’ questions as they arise than if I purchase someone else’s curriculum or workbooks.  I am writing more now, myself, because it is pleasing to me to communicate this way.  I hope that my doing this will let the boys see their mother doing something she enjoys rather than always encouraging them to develop a skill she feels they should develo

I have found that the boys (Aaron and his brothers Seth, 9, and Caleb, 6) have all been more willing to write letters of thank you this past year.  Last week Aaron wrote a wonderful letter to a friend of his in New Orleans.  Since it wasn’t an assignment I didn’t feel any need to correct anything except when he asked me to or what was really obvious.  It has been neat for the boys to see how nice it is when one of my friends responds and we all share the news.

I did not start writing myself as a manipulative maneuver to get my children to write.  I did it because for some time I’ve believed that as a family we all thrive by pursuing our own interests.  I’m happier and they certainly are, too.

Update on Older Reader

Moira Nobles (CA) writes:

I wrote in GWS #74 about the problems my son Chris had with reading.  I am writing to report that after struggling for years, Chris is now reading well above his grade level.

It didn’t happen overnight.  He had a gradual increase in ability over a period of six months.  It seemed as though his brain started maturing in the areas needed for him to be able to read about six months ago, when he turned 11.  We tried using various reading programs such as Sing, Spell, Read, and Write as well as various books on reading.  None seemed to help even after he started reading better.  We did read to him often and we all (his sister, his father, and me) read constantly so he has always been surrounded by books.

As his ability increased, he started reading to himself more and more but he read very few of our children’s books.  He read adult material almost from the very start.  I feel that his ability to read began to increase because all the processes needed to read were functioning as a whole.  We also bought an inexpensive pair of reading glasses for him because he has trouble reading very fine print.

I mentioned in my previous letter his tendency to reverse letters and numbers.  He still does reverse numbers occasionally but his printing and writing are neater with no reverse letters.  We never worked on the reversals and he corrected the problem almost without effort.

As you can imagine, I am delighted to report his success and hope to encourage other parents of late bloomers as well as the late bloomers themselves to try to relax and not feel pressured because a child is not reading when all his peers are. I know how hard it was for me not to worry about it.

6 Year Old Prefers Homeschooling

Corianna Sichel (NJ) writes:

I’m 6.  I have liked the way homeschooling has gone, for I have discovered that I have a better relation with my younger sibling than ever.  I have a friend who has gone to public school.  He has a little sister.  I feel I have a better relationship with my little sister.

I have chosen that I want to go on homeschooling.  From the stories I’ve heard and the way I feel, I don’t want to go to school.  I’ve heard things from my friends like you have to sit at a desk all day long.  You also have to listen to your teacher.  You can’t go and have snacks.  You have to eat lunch even if you aren’t hungry.  That’s because you might get hungry later and you may not eat your lunch in the middle of the classes.  In homeschooling I learn things at my own pace, too. In school you have to learn it right away.

We were at my ballet class and I was talking to some girls who were in my class. They said that my mother would not homeschool me through my college years.  Now I took this very seriously.  I told my mother one day.  She said they did not know what they were talking about.

My little sister is 2.  Her name is Amarynth.  Having a younger sister sometimes feels like everyone is paying attention to her but not me.  When she was born I was happy because I could hold her and she was light.  The day after she was born I woke up with my babysitter and asked where is Mom and Dad.  She said that Amarynth was at the hospital and I could not go.  She gave me some breakfast and then let me watch Sesame Street.  It was surprising that Jessica and her dad came while I was watching Sesame Street.  Jessica is a special friend of the family, and they came to pick me up so I could see my mother and Amarynth.

My sister is comforting sometimes when I get hurt.  I like her for a playmate.  In the beginning she was not even a playmate yet.  I don’t like when she kicks me or hits me or bites me or pinches me. I have a way of getting her sometimes.  I make a special sound that is attracting to her.  That’s how I get my most good times for her to lie on my lap while I brush her hair back.

Sometimes I want to be alone when she wants to be with me.  Sometimes I can’t help it.  I call her a name, like, “You cry so much” or “You are a cry baby.”  Then I call Mom.  Mom says, “I’ll do my best to keep her away, but I may not be able to do it.”

Family Discusses Books

From Susan Rees (MN):

In response to the letters about book discussion groups in GWS #85, our three children discuss their reading with us and with each other.  We read and discuss some books together as a family and sometimes my husband or I will read the books our children read, or recommend they read ones we’ve read, so that we can, in fact, discuss the material.  I’m impressed with the sophisticated analyses my 12 year old spontaneously shares with me about books he’s reading.  He reads, reads, reads, and reads.  Different books on the same subject, different books by the same author, books about books, authors, history, science.

I’m not sure one needs the organized discussion of literature often found in the classroom - where students are “guided” to the observation about the material that the teacher wanted to present.  My best college professors have written books on their subjects and one can read their thoughtful analyses at leisure.  I’m delighted that my children don’t look for answers that please teachers or earn grades but rather those that satisfy their own quest for knowledge and understanding.

Our library has a summer reading program for interested readers (grades 8-12) for discussing books.  My children have been too young, so far, but such a group may serve the purpose of bringing interested youth together.

Organizing an Environmental Group

Colin King of Minnesota writes:

In 1987 a man from a company called AmHoist, based in Minneapolis, proposed to build a hazardous waste incinerator in a town called Staples.  It was a perfect target for such an apparatus because the town was very poor.  The mayor thought that it was a great idea and three of the county commissioners (out of a total of five) thought it was a good idea too.  That gave the incinerator a good chance of being given a permit.

By 1988 there were about 150 people against it.  The commissioners had decided to vote against the permit, and by 1989 everything was finished, to make a very long story short.

I did not have much to do with stopping the incinerator, but my parents did. Watching my parents and other people fight the incinerator got me very interested in environmental issues, especially when this one was so close to home.

In January 1989 I started typing my own environmental group’s first newsletter. That night I told my parents, “I did it!”  Since then, we have raised $300 to buy a pristine rain forest in Belize, planted 2000 trees around the county, and printed five news-letters.  We attempted to get a local church to build a recycling center but it did not work because the board members did not have enough initiative.  My group was going to pay for the construction.  We picked up 450 pounds of trash out of the ditch, and tried to get the state of Minnesota to ban the use of CFCs in the state.

My group’s name is Peace on Earth.  We have seventy members.  The main contributors to the group, money-wise, are adults and adolescents.  The main contributors of articles to the newsletter are adults.  I wish that I could encourage more kids to write.  The members are mainly people from around the United States.  A few are homeschoolers.  Our next newsletter is going to be about the use of water; where it comes from, who uses it, and the ecosystems it supports. ——————-

Peace on Earth is available for $3/yr from Colin King, RR #2 - Maple Hill, Box 178A, Long Prairie MN 56347.  See “Resources and Recommendations,” GWS #85, for information about another environmental newsletter published by a homeschooler.

No Experience is All Bad

Penny Barker (OH) writes:

Since our work in the outdoors - farming and dog trekking in summer and dogsledding in winter - takes us into wilderness environments, my husband Richard decided that in addition to the First Aid Training we all have, one of us should have Wilderness Rescue Training.  With Britt off living her own life, Dan at Interlochen, Maggie into very rigorous and consistent fall training with her sled dog team, and Jonah at 13 too young, it was decided that Ben (15) was the likely candidate to take this training.

Maggie said she could spare Ben from the dogsled training for a month, his kayaking season was over, and he plans to make outdoor leadership his adult work. Wilderness Rescue Training would be beneficial to the dogsledding program Ben helps with and invaluable to the northwoods dogtrekking program he and Maggie handle on their own.

We had heard about SOLO, a hands-on program for wilderness emergency rescue, from a whitewater instructor in Wisconsin where Ben had done intensive whitewater kayak training.  Since Ben does best when he is actively involved, this program sounded ideal.

My boys came to writing later than their sisters did.  Dan was not independently proficient at writing until age 17 and though Ben can write, he isn’t proficient. He is a proficient reader and is a keen-minded person so we thought he’d do fine in the SOLO program.  We sent him off with warm and rugged gear and the knowledge that he was leaving us for a month at a younger age than any of his siblings had before him.  The fact that Ben is small and has not yet had his adolescent growth contributed to his look of vulnerability as he and Richard headed out on their 16-hour drive to the Mt. Washington area in New Hampshire where SOLO headquarters is located.

Richard left Ben after helping him get settled and spending one night.  The 34 other participants were aged 22 to 40 and into all kinds of outdoor work.  It seemed an interesting and healthy grou  One of the reasons Richard had made the long drive rather than sending Ben via bus or train was that we needed to see what kind of people Ben would be spending the month with.  Richard felt pleased with the group he encountered.

After two weeks we found a message in our post office box:  “Call Ben at SOLO.” When we talked to Ben we found that for the past two weeks he’d been sitting in a classroom nearly eight hours a day listening to lectures and watching demonstrations.  He was expected to take notes, though this has never been a part of his learning style, and to read a thick volume of rather technical information. He sounded stable but weary on the phone.  He said the next two weeks of the course were mainly Emergency Medical Technician training for ambulance drivers, and that he had talked to the instructors who felt that for Ben’s purposes, he had gotten the training he needed in the first two weeks.  Richard then called the main instructor of the course who said Ben had done remarkably well considering he’d never sat in a classroom before, and that they’d never had anyone as young as 15 try the course.  (’The people at SOLO were always very communicative, positive, and supportive of Ben throughout.)  The instructor also indicated that he felt Ben had been given more information than he could digest and would be overwhelmed by another two weeks.

Since it had been Richard’s enthusiasm and push that had gotten Ben there (Ben never seemed terribly eager), I felt angry at Richard and told him, “You should have checked into this better!  If just hope this doesn’t devastate Ben!”  In his characteristic readiness to admit a mistake, Richard said, “This is not Ben’s problem, it’s mine.  I should have checked it out better.  I take full responsibility and will make this up to Ben somehow.”  Well, that completely defused my anger and Richard and I then put our heads together about how to turn this into a positive learning experience for Ben.

Looking back with the perspective of a few months, I see that a lot of growth did come from this.  Ben did handle with stability a situation that was too stretching for him, a situation he isn’t yet prepared for.  Things that had nothing to do with the actual classwork showed some of Ben’s strengths and choices in a situation where he was hundreds of miles from the family’s usual support.  He greatly impressed his fellow SOLO participants by his choice of healthy groceries on the weekends when he had to feed himself.  Also, when in one of the class gatherings the group was asked if there were any problems, Ben spoke up and said, “When I go to bed, there’s too much talking and noise and I can’t slee”  Because Ben retired at 8:00 every night while the older participants stayed up socializing a while after a long day of classes, the group presented Ben with an excellent set of ear plugs.  My pleasure was in learning that Ben was able to present his problem to the group; such a difference from myself at that age.

Another small act on Ben’s part that was significant to me was his decision to find a chair for the bathroom.  He told me, “There were no hooks, no bench, nothing on which to lay dry clothes” when he showered.  So after three days of this, he went down to the kitchen, got a chair and took it up to the second story bathroom where it remained, to everyone’s great relief.  It was so much like Ben to be so practical in his actions!

He also taught us all kinds of knots he’d learned from his rock climbing friends at SOLO.  Even though Richard did a lot of rock climbing as a teenager in California, he has never been able to share this with his own kids.  Ben did his first rock climbing with climbers on his last weekend at Mt. Washington.  It wasn’t only the belaying and rapelling that were significant, though.  Ben described how two of the climbers were stuck on a ledge and needed a rope thrown to them.  When Ben tried to tell the men how to tie the bowline knot they needed to secure the rope to themselves, his friend Grizzly went wild, yelling at Ben for showing these men something he’d just learned.  He didn’t think Ben was experienced enough to pass the information he’d learned on to men (novices at rock climbing) standing on a ledge.

I asked Ben how he felt about the incident and he said, “I felt Griz was right because it was a matter of life and death and though I felt slightly embarrassed, that was only momentary.”  I felt that Ben had again proven those strengths I felt so lacking in my own growing up when I would have felt devastated by this kind of response from an adult. I can see that though Ben was not ready for the extensive and intensive classroom setting of the situation we had sent him into, he was able to survive, self-esteem intact, and make something for himself in this situation.  So many times my children go into some experience and my mind begins its parade of expectations, rather than remaining free and having the faith (thinking from my heart) that whatever the situation offers, there will be growth.

JOHN HOLT’S BOOK AND MUSIC STORE

The Thomas Edison Book of Easy and Incredible Experiments by  the T.A. Edison Foundation #1632 $12.95

We sell several books of experiments families can do with common household items, and we like them a great deal.  But what seemed to me lacking in our catalog was anything for the child or young adult who wishes to move beyond these experiments into some more serious tinkering.  The Thomas Edison Book of Easy and Incredible Experiments provides you not only with more advanced experiments, but also with a history of Edison’s scientific life that allows you to re-enact some of his pioneering experiments.  There are also important experiments that illustrate other scientists’ work that Edison built upon, such as Farraday and Volta, so you get a good introduction to the scientific principles that underlie just about all our modern appliances and utilities.  The book also has various photos of Edison from ages 14 to 84, a seven-page chronology of events in Edison’s long, fruitful life, and a bibliography.  But the experiments are what make this book so valuable.

The experiments are divided among seven sections; each section is built upon a theme, such as part II:  Simple Experiments in Magnetism and Electricity, or Part VI, Alternative Energy Sources.  Each experiment is presented in a sequence that moves from simple to complex pretty quickly.  The diagrams and descriptions are so clear that you don’t have to go through the experiments in order; you can move throughout the book and choose the projects that spark your interest.  Some experiments use gadgets created in earlier experiments, however, so it is best to read through each experiment first.  One of the many things I like about this book is how it allows you to build a stock of useful devices that can be used for other experiments in the book, as well as for experiments you may invent yourself.  The book is very good at having you recycle the materials you use, so after you use a lemon to test your galvonometer (lemons produce electricity chemically), you are told not to throw the lemon out but to save it for later when you make invisible ink; the model home you build to examine weatherizing and energy conservation is later turned into a solar garden.

Rather than just illustrating scientific principles, as so many science books do, this book shows you how to move from the laboratory into practical application, something Edison excelled at.  So you will not only create a galvonometer, an electroscope, electric circuits, and so on, you will then use them to make a basic radio, a microphone, a battery, a burglar alarm - even a Geiger counter!  The book is grounded in practicality, emphasizing tinkering and experimenting over getting the right answer.  When there are questions at the end of a very few experiements, they are to help you get answers about why or why not your experiment worked, not to see if you can repeat principles and dates from the text.  Your understanding of the material is based on whether or not your experiment works, not on how many “right answers” you can give at the end of a chapter.

Part 5 to the end of the book is concerned with energy for the future.  Parents will particularly enjoy doing some of the experiments in these sections with their children since they bear upon our daily lives and expenses: who wouldn’t benefit from conducting their own home energy audit, finding all the drafts in their house, seeing which appliances use the most electricity and when, how to read their electric meter, how to reduce these energy drains, and then use all this for your homeschooling portfolio?  Many of these later experiments do require some parental presence, as they use flames, steam, and materials that must be purchased at a hardware or home supply store.  Overall, parents should know that this book will require you to purchase items not readily available at home, such as alligator clips, wires, and dry cells.  Mail-order sources for more exotic materials, such as radioactive materials, are provided in the book, but the authors always tell you how you might find these things around your house.  For instance, rather than buy packaged alpha and gamma ray sources through the mail, you can get these same emissions from the silk gas mantle used for ordinary camping lanterns, or from an old luminous dial watch or clock.  Can’t find a wooden dowel?  They suggest cutting off the top of an old broomstick.  To get a carbon electrode they tell you how to saw open a worn-out #6 dry cell.

I have but two criticisms of this otherwise superb book.  One is that it doesn’t mention how homeschooling and Edison’s autodidactic nature allowed him to generate so many important inventions.  He never got a high school diploma, let alone worked in a university lab!  My other criticism is of the authors’ contention that nuclear energy “represents a heat source that, properly controlled, is safe and does not significantly affect our environment.”  I find that statement dishonest since they make no mention of the nuclear waste products that will affect our environment for hundreds of years to come, and don’t discuss whether or not it is possible always to “properly control” nuclear power.  However, there is no nuclear worship here, and the purpose of this final part of the book is to make readers conversant with the properties and energy of the atom:  “Nature provides many examples for us to readily observe these properties.  The sun, being a nuclear reactor, is one example.  Radioactivity is another.”  The goal then is to demystify, not glorify, atomic energy, making this final section an outstanding introduction to an aspect of science most people think can only be explored in a university lab rather than in our own basements. –  Pat Farenga

The Weather Companion by Gary Lockhart #1640 $12.95 + post.

This is one of the most popular newcomers to our catalog.  The subject, weather, is something everyone observes, enjoys, suffers from, and wonders about.  The connection between weather and science seems obvious - measuring, testing hypotheses, the physics of temperature, humidity, electrical charges, etc.  What is particularly interesting about this book is that it is not merely a book about weather science, but about all aspects of weather - what people have believed about it, as shown in their religions, folklore, mythology, customs, and history.  So people who think of themselves as more interested in literature, say, will find themselves drawn here into reading the science as well.

Some of the beliefs are reported without comment; others are shown to be true or untrue by scientific study.  I can well imagine some homeschoolers deciding to test out some of the claims for themselves:  at what temperatures do the flowers in the yard close their petals?  On what kind of days can you hear faraway noises most clearly?  Do thunderstorms with sharp crashes lead to good weather more often than storms with rolling booms?  This is not a “Do this, do that” kind of activity book, but you can learn of real research that needs doing and find tips for simple tools you can make and use at home.

I found myself fascinated by the discussions of more exotic phenomena:  mirages, St. Elmo’s fire, solar flares, northern lights, earthquake weather, and the solar cross, the likely basis for Constantine’s vision of “In Hoc Signo Vinces.”  But just as interesting are the more everyday events:  rhododendron leaves measure the temperature, pond scum measures the air pressure, and human hair is a great tool for measuring humidity.

One weakness of the book is the choppy writing - I sometimes can’t tell whether the author is implying that separate facts are supposed to be related.  The pictures are adequate but it would have been nice to have more of them and in color. However, the overall premise of the book is so good, I’m sure homeschooling families will overcome these shortcomings by turning to library books and encyclopedias for more information and illustrations. — Donna Richoux

The Anatomy Coloring Book by Wynn Kapit and Lawrence Elson #1580 $13.95

I first saw this book under the arms of my fellow nursing school students in the early ’80s.  I couldn’t imagine why these intelligent people would purchase a coloring book after having spent over a hundred dollars on our required anatomy books.  After a few weeks of staring hopelessly at smudgy black-and-white photos in texts and red-on-red paintings of muscles in atlases, I swallowed my skepticism and got myself a coloring book too.  Suddenly I thought, “So that’s how bones, tendons, and ligaments work together!  They all just looked like so much grey before.  … Nerves don’t just vanish after they leave the spinal cord!  … So there are all the parts of the kidney that I’ve heard so much about.”  What a shock that these black-and-white drawings, meticulously labeled and cross-referenced, succinctly described, could make human anatomy more accessible than texts, plastic models, and animal dissection.

Knowing how heavily I had relied on this book, I expected to find my old dogeared copy filled with my own full-color illustrations.  To my surprise, very few plates were completely colored in.  Lack of time was my primary reason for not completing the pictures, but the marks I did make throughout the book indicate that the diagrams are so exceptionally clear that I did not need to take the time to do the actual coloring.  So, if you don’t see yourself sitting down with your colored pencils, this book is still an important reference.

This book is well-organized, beginning with basic terminology and whole body information.  Next, each body system (muscular, respiratory, etc.) is presented with a general over-view followed by plates of the structures of that system.  The plates contain far more than drawings of body parts, though.  For example, after the basic anatomy of the heart’s chambers, valves, veins, and arteries is presented, three subsequent drawings demonstrate the blood flow through the heart, the electrical conduction responsible for the heartbeat and how that is measured by an electrocardiogram (EKG), and the coronary blood supply to the heart muscle itself (along with information on which arteries are the usual ones block in a heart attack).  It is this sort of applied anatomical information that makes this book invaluable as a self-teaching tool.

Naturally The Anatomy Coloring Book does not need to be used only as a high-power study guide.  Because each plate can also stand alone, the book is very useful whenever a question arises, such as, “How many bones are in my foot?” or “What is blood made of?”  I have also found this book more kid-friendly than any other anatomy text because the simple line drawings are never “gross.”  Even the extremely squeamish can look at any page fearlessly.  Another benefit is that the drawings are not color-dependent as they are in most coloring books.  You won’t learn much about identifying real seashells or birds from coloring them with any color you like, but anatomical pictures benefit greatly from an assortment of colors.  Also, the plates reproduce well, enabling you to make copies for people of varying skill and interest, prolonging the usefulness of the book.  For example, when I was in nursing school, my 5-year-old stepdaughter found this book irresistible, but crayolas would have ruined my meticulous work.  After a few cents’ investment at a copy machine we were both able to work on the same drawing without conflict.  Incidentally, she later went on to draw some lovely self-portraits - all skeletons and remarkably accurate.

Children of all ages are usually intensely curious about their own bodies, frequently stumping the available adults with their questions.  Adults also often want to understand more about anatomical structures and function, such as when a medical diagnosis remains confusing because the explanation presumes that you know quite a bit of basic information already.  (Would you really know the difference between a middle ear and an inner ear infection?  Your tendons from you ligaments?) The Anatomy Coloring Book will not only answer most of your questions, it will invite you to explore and enjoy how your body works. –  Phoebe Wells

Car Talk by Tom and Ray Magliozzi #1584 $8.95

I have listened to “Car Talk,” the call-in radio show by “Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers,” off and on ever since I came to Boston, where it began in the 1970’s.  These irrepressible brother mechanics made the show fun enough to keep me listening through the incomprehensible parts.  And little by little, I understood more until now I generally can follow everything they say, and can sometimes predict their answers.  It’s been a lovely way to learn about the mysteries of that important tool in most of our lives, the automobile.

The same is true for their book; they keep it funny enough to keep me hooked. Better yet, the book is organized clearly enough that you can learn the stuff in one go-through, instead of piecing it together over twelve years of listening to the radio show.

The book discusses each system of the car in turn, how it works, the maintenance you should perform, and what to do about the problems that develo  They start with those areas that can, if neglected, endanger your life (such as wheels falling off as you drive down the road) or could lead to serious damage to the car (ignoring the oil pressure warning light).  Eventually they discuss just about every other possible problem, of varying degrees of expense and aggravation.

Here’s an example of their explanation of the cooling system:

When you make all those fires in the cylinders of the engine by burning gasoline, that engine gets really hot.  So hot that if you just let it run, it would almost literally  melt.  So the engine has to be cooled before this happens. And since we’re continually creating the heat, we have to continually remove it. This cooling is done by water - or a mixture of water and antifreeze if you don’t live in Hawaii like we do.  (Dream on!.) … As the engine is running and heat is produced in the cylinders, the heat is transferred from the area around the cylinders to the water.  This is good, but not good enough.  Why?  Because in a minute or so the water is hot enough to boil and that’s the end of that idea. Obviously, we can’t let the water just sit there in the cooling passages.  It would be nice to circulate the water.  This is done with a water pum  It’s really a very simple device - sort of like a bunch of little buckets stuck together in a circle. Camels turn these things in Egypt.  You don’t have a camel under the hood, but as we know from Chapter One (The Big Picture), spinning is one of the things that the engine is really good at.  (Remember the spinning crankshaft?)  Well, since the crankshaft is spinning anyway, it would be nice if we could use that spinning motion to turn the water pum  It turns out to be relatively easy to do this…

Each chapter ends with a dozen or more pages of transcripts from the radio show, with wisecracks (a few from the callers, too) scattered generously among the solid advice. The book finishes with a discussion about buying a car and the trade-offs among comfort, convenience, and saving money.  It especially emphasizes that it is always cheaper to fix an old car than to buy a newer one, unless it is truly about to rust away. — DR

The Visual Display of Quantitative Information by Edward Tufte #1638 $40 (hardcover)

This book is about how we can turn information about a particular thing, usually but not always collected as numbers, into a graphic design that clearly communicates all the data.  Often, viewing data in graphical form rather than as columns of numbers allows us to see previously unknown relationships among pieces of information and lets us see in one picture what might otherwise take hours to read through.  The advent of computer graphics makes this a timely and useful book, if only to help the reader distinguish between useful graphics and what the author calls “chartjunk.” Indeed, I first read about this book in a computer group newsletter, where the graphical principles put forth were recommended for designing graphical computer interfaces.  Then I read a review of it in a magazine for desktop publishing, which claimed it was a treasure chest of information about the proper use of graphics in business and printing.  One of these reviewers also said it would be an invaluable aid for people who work with scientific and medical graphics.  A book that informs so many different fields, that defies subject labels, sounded just right for our catalog, since we like to emphasize the inter-connectedness of all knowledge.  When I eventually did find this book and discovered it had a $40 price tag I was put off.  But after a few minutes of browsing I knew I had to have this book.  It wasn’t the content that grabbed me at first, it was its construction:  it is a tribute to the art of printing.  Generously laid out pages with lots of space for the graphics and text to present themselves clearly; high quality paper stock; more than 250 gorgeous color and black and white reproductions; clothbound.  It actually teases you to open it and marvel at its illustrations and layout before you even start reading it.  Once you start reading it, you will find a wry but serious authorial voice presenting some fascinating history, theory, and practice about the design of statistical graphics, charts, maps, and tables. Mr. Tufte, who is a professor of Political Science and Statistics and teaches in the Department of Graphic Design at Yale, first covers the history of graphical practice, explaining that when the first “data maps” were introduced they represented quite an intellectual and social breakthrough.  People started to use graphics to help them solve problems, to help them reason about quantitative information, as in the famous dot map of Dr. John Snow, who plotted the location of deaths from cholera in central London for September 1854.  Deaths were marked by dots and, in addition, the area’s eleven water pumps were located by crosses.  Examining the scatter over the surface of the map, Snow observed that cholera occurred almost entirely among those who lived (and drank from) the Broad Street water pum  He had the handle of the contaminated pump removed, ending the neighborhood         epidemic which had taken more than 500 lives.

The opening chapter, “Graphical Excellence,” is packed with fascinating stories and graphics such as Dr. Snow’s, and quickly disabuses the reader of the idea that graphics, particularly the most common ones that plot time and series, are best used for unsophisticated, linear changes.  Mr. Tufte feels such data is best represented by a few numbers and that graphics “should be reserved for the richer, more complex, more difficult statistical material.”  He certainly pulls in enough evidence to support his claim, using graphics such as William Playfair’s chart showing imports and exports to and from England from the year 1700 to 1782 and a New York City weather summary for 1980 that depicts 2,200 numbers in a very distinguished graphic.  We also get fascinating uses of graphics to present narrative as well as time-series information, such as the superb graphic by Charles Minard drawn in 1861 that is reproduced in full in our Fall/Winter catalog. “Described by E.J. Marey as seeming to defy the pen of the historian by its brutal eloquence, this combination of data map and time series, drawn in 1861, portrays the devastating losses suffered in Napoleon’s Russian campaign of 1812.”  Further on in this chapter we meet amazing graphics used by scientists, naturalists, and ordinary people.  These fine examples depict a huge array of information:  cancer rates in the US, how sea-horses swim, the life cycle of the Japanese beetle, the facial relationships of fear and rage in a wolf, train schedules!  At the end of each chapter Mr. Tufte briefly summarizes his conclusions, making it quite easy to think about and put into practice the many ideas he elucidates. The chapters “Graphical Integrity” and “Sources of Integrity and Sophistication” are a must read.  Tufte writes, “Lying graphics cheapen the graphical art everywhere.  Since the lies often show up in news reports, millions of images are printed.  When a chart on television lies, it lies tens of millions of times over; when a New York Times chart lies, it lies 900,000 times over to a great many important and influential readers.”  These chapters are full of great graphical lies - many examples are from the NY Times and government reports - and will raise the consciousness of all who take the time to examine them. Moving from history and practice into the theory of data graphics, Mr. Tufte fills the last half of the book with examples and theories about aesthetics and techniques, use of color, proportions and scaling, and the comparative effectiveness of sentences, tables, and graphics for communicating quantitative information.  He presents many new graphical designs that are quite interesting just to look at.  Tufte quotes E.B. White’s maxim, “No one can write decently who is distrustful of the reader’s intelligence, or whose attitude is patronizing,” and he abides by it.  His prose style is rather technical and professorial at times, but the graphics usually help you understand his more obscure points.  Sometimes, I must admit, I simply moved on when I couldn’t get what he was driving at, but it was no great loss.  There is so much valuable information in this book that it just can’t be digested in one sitting; this is a book to be picked up, looked at, and read over and over. Homeschoolers will find many uses for this book.  The numerous fields surveyed and data portrayed make it a good overview for studying statistics; the graphics easily lead one to study more about what they represent, thus the chart of Napoleon’s march presents an access point for European history, the technical details of what makes a good or bad graphic will aid anyone interested in art and design; the explanations of proportions and scale and their importance to graphical integrity make this book useful for exploring how geometry and algebra are actually used by artists as well as statisticians.  What I got out of this book, besides a new appreciation and enlightenment about graphics and statistics, is an even keener sense of how the separation of subjects in our schools is so wrong.  Tufte writes in his introduction, “Insights into graphical design are to be gained, I believe from theories of what makes for excellence in art, architecture, and prose.”  This book is a model of an interdisciplinary text for learning; it brilliantly communicates its message through the simultaneous presentation of words, numbers, and pictures and will entertain and inform you for many years. –  PF

FOCUS:  Coping With Boredom

Do you ever get bored?  What do you do about it?  We asked several homeschoolers to answer this question for this issue’s Focus.

Learning to Handle Boredom From Lynda Burris (KY):

I get bored like everyone else from time to time.  If being bored is having five minutes here and there of deciding what to do next, I have a lot of those.  But I think everybody does and that is not being bored.  The time I really get bored is when I am sick, because I am generally fairly healthy.  When I’m sick, I just can’t do what I normally do.  Sometimes in that transition time (let’s see, what next?) I will pick up the cat for inspiration. Looking back on when I was in school, I do not think I get bored nearly as much now as then.  Why?  Well, I really like to read, so when I am done with my schoolwork (or when I cannot at that time think of anything else to do) I will pick up a book. When I was in school I never knew what to do with myself.  I do not think it is the fact that I am older that makes me not get bored as often now.  I think I have learned to cope with boredom.  I think that throughout the day I am faced with many choices.  I could go and do my schoolwork.  I could pick up a book, or I could just sit there.  I usually choose to do the first two.

Tries Different Things From Aleta Rees (MN):

I remember one time I was bored.  The family was staying out of town.  Dad was busy on the computer, so we couldn’t use it.  Mom was too busy to take us to the Science Museum or to our piano practice.  My brother David was reading a book.  My sister Dana and I had to keep quiet for a long time.  I lost interest in my books, and I was bored.  Now I make sure to pack enough things when we go somewhere. Sometimes when Dad’s away, I miss him and the fun we have.  I feel sad, and I don’t feel like doing anything.  Then I read a book or play with toys.  I play races with my toy cars, most of which have names.  Or I play with my doll house.  Sometimes I forget about being bored when I play piano and the sweet music rings out. Other times when I want to play piano, something just stops me, even though I want to play.  I don’t practice my lesson then; that’s too hard.  Instead I play make-up songs or songs I already know, just for fun.  When I’m unhappy or cranky, I don’t like the music.  Then playing piano doesn’t work. I try doing different things until I decide what I want to do.  Sometimes I just want to be alone and think, or daydream, or make up stories.  Sometimes I’ll draw, or listen to stories on my tape recorder, or play in the snow with our new puppy. If baby books get in the way when I am looking for something good to read, I get angry at them.  If I don’t remember where I put what I want to use, I look around until I find it or something else that interests me.  I just ask my body what I want to do, and it tells me. I usually try to figure things out myself.  I like to make my own decisions; I don’t want anyone, especially my brother or sister, telling me what to do.  When I have to do something when I don’t want to do it, such as play the piano, clean my room, or put things away, I get tired.  When Mom tells me to sort the laundry, I get bored. Sometimes, though, I do want hel  Then I will ask for it.  For example, if I don’t know what I want to wear, I ask my sister Dana and we decide together, or I ask her just to pick something for me.  Occasionally, if I don’t feel well, or if I just want to do something with Mom, I’ll ask Mom what I can do for her.  She might say, “It’s time to practice piano,” or “Let’s do math.”  Mom will certainly know what I can do.  I try to do what she says even if I don’t really want to, but it usually takes me longer to get started doing her ideas than it takes to do my own. Sometimes she’s not ready, and sometimes I’m not. Sometimes everyone’s too busy and I need help with what I want to do, for example write letters, do math, or read.  I ask my dolls, and they say wait until someone’s not busy.  So I sit down and think what I feel like doing.  When I have to go to bed and I don’t want to, I feel bored, so I tell myself a story.  When I don’t feel good or the day is ruined, I just go to bed and read until I fall aslee

You Have To Think For Yourself From Sarah-Kate Giddings (MA):

Boredom is a familiar feeling, which leaves me walking aimlessly through the house. Usually, this happens at the end of the day, when I’m tired, or when I’ve just finished doing something and I can’t quite figure out what to do next. Most often, I’ll go up to my room, sit down on my bed, and start making a mental list of things that I could do, or things that I’ve go to do by a certain time. This usually turns out to be quite a long list!  It’s pretty amazing what can happen if you just brainstorm. Writing also helps me.  When I was about 8 I started publishing my own monthly magazine, RAINBOW, because I was bored all the time.  Now, five years later, RAINBOW is still going strong!  Writing and editing for RAINBOW often gets me over the boredom blues. Having pen-pals (I currently have 24) is also a big hel  There’s always someone I owe a letter to! When you’re homeschooled, you have to think for yourself, decide what it is you want to do, not what someone else wants you to do.  I don’t even bother asking my mom for ideas on what to do anymore.  I know I won’t want to do anything she suggests, since I wasn’t the one who had the idea.  However, if I later think of that same thing, I do it, because I’m the one who thought of it, nobody was thinking for me. I think all homeschoolers, at one time or another, feel bored.  It’s often difficult to find something to do, but not impossible!  One of my friends who goes to school once said to me, “I can’t imagine life without homework.  What would I do?” Endless Possibilities From Aaron Ritter (MO):

This is a good question, because I get bored a lot.  There are endless possibilities, though.  I love to read; a couple of the books I’m reading now are Crime and Punishment and Many Waters (Madeleine L’Engle).  Another thing I like to do when I’m bored is go through my old stuff and remember all the neat things from when I was little.  We move a lot, so I can remember lots of places and people when I look at my stuff.  I also like to build models; it’s my number one hobby.  And almost as much as I love to read, I love to write.  When I get started on a story, I spend lots of time on it.  My favorite subjects to write on are comedy and horror.  Sometimes, too, I just like to play with my little sister, Laura, and sometimes I like to wrestle with my brother.

Do Something With Your Mind From Sarah Angus (MD):

Boredom is inactivity of the mind.  One’s mind is so often inactive in the public schools that students lose their ability to focus.  They are made to sit through pointless lectures and do work whose only purpose is to take up time.  The result is the students are perpetually bored.  They cannot not be bored.  Even if they have a chance to do something interesting, they are bored, because they think that being bored is the only way. An example of this:  I went to a music worksho  We had many hours of rehearsals and a final concert.  My friend who goes to the local middle school also attended. I found the workshop to be interesting, but she complained all day long about how she was bored.  She could not find it interesting, because she is perpetually bored. Even if you are not perpetually bored, you can still get bored sometimes.  If you do, just do something with your mind.  Read a book, hold a mental debate with yourself, or do anything that is productive.  The boredom will slip away and you can be interested once more.

Restless Rather Than Bored From Meghann O’Day (AR): I don’t really get bored.  I just get restless.  Whenever I feel this way I try to go somewhere - to the library or to the store.  Sometimes just a change of pace will make it better.  I have a lot of interests, so I can always find things to do - write a letter or read a story, read a book or change a diaper! One thing you learn quickly around this house is never, ever tell Mom you’re bored! She always has a chore for you.  that is another thing to do around here.  We all have chores and have to do them, so we keep pretty busy. I have never been to school, but if I did go I think I would be bored.   I don’t think I would like a teacher telling me what to do all day long.  I like to go at my own speed.  That keeps me from being bored.  Also, if I already know something, I can just skip over it and go to the next lesson.  I really think being a homeschooler keeps me from being bored, not the other way around.  If I was in school I would have to go at someone else’s pace, not my own. The time we go back from Disney World was the one time I was really bored.  We had had all that fun and now normal life seemed so… normal.  The thing that helped me was just going to the library and picked out some good books to read. Sometimes I still get restless, but just for a few moments until something else happens - the baby cries or the mail comes and there is a letter for me - you know, just little spots in a big day.

Hard to Stay Bored From William and Alec Young (GA):

Boredom is thinking you don’t have anything to do.  We are rarely bored because we usually don’t have enough time to do all the things we want to do.  Sometimes William is bored on Saturday morning waiting for our friends Cedric and Terrence to come outside, but we wouldn’t be in school on Saturdays even if we went to school. Some people might think homeschoolers get bored because we spend so much time with our parents as teachers.  We don’t see it that way.  Our teachers are everybody and everywhere.  In our pottery class we learned more from watching and talking to the professional potters who dropped in to use the studio than we did from the paid instructor.  When Alec plays in a basketball game, he learns not only from listening to the coach and to Dad, but also from watching the other players.  He learns as much from the bad players as from the good ones, and most of all from his own mistakes. Mom and Dad don’t just tell us what we have to do.  We discuss which direction we think our studies, especially books we’re reading aloud together, should go.  Our homeschooling’s not set up just as a school, with the kids being the students and the parents the teachers.  It’s more like family learning.  At home if we don’t like a book we’re reading, we just try another one. If all else fails, we can always draw.  Alec can draw a guy flying, and feel like he’s doing it himself.  Drawing sends William’s mind in all kinds of different directions.  It’s hard to stay bored.

Too Much in the World to Fell Bored From Theresa Dolezal (MN):

No, I never feel bored.  There’s too much in the world to feel bored.  People who are bored should come and talk to me.  My mom suggests things for me to do sometimes, but not because I’m bored.  If she sees something I might want to do, she lets me know, but I make up my own mind.  There’s always lots to do.  I play the saxophone with the middle school band.  I love to practice.  I also play violin and am in a string orchestra.  I do numerous other things, including art - I like painting, drawing, crafts, claywork, coloring, and woodwork.  I started doing a little math almost every day, even though I don’t like it, because I know I’ll use more math as I get older.  I’m teaching myself French right now with a tape, and I’m doing a big project on France because I would like to visit France someday, and it’s a neat language.  I also play basketball on the girls fifth grade traveling team.  When I signed up, I didn’t know how much I would love basketball, but it’s become one of my favorite things to do.  I have friends over a lot, and we do things like play outside (skate, ski, swim, canoe, sled, build forts, explore). Inside we play games or watch a movie or talk.  I like to fool around on our piano and somebody just gave us an organ, so I’m teaching myself some chords and notes. I like to decorate my room and think about what I’ll be doing in the future.  I like to cook and bake delicious things to eat.  I like to sing.  My sister and I like to fool around by mimicking advertisements we think are dumb.  Usually, we entertain our parents and my oldest sister, but sometimes we drive them crazy because we start to get hysterical and can’t sto  We’re in a 4-H communication contest, and we both won in our categories, so we’ll be going on to district.  I did Carl Sandburg’s Jazz Fantasia for interpretive reading.  I help out around the house decorating or cleaning.  I like to play with the Paperboy game I got for Christmas.  I read sometimes or write letters.  I like to try new things. The only time I remember being bored is at one of my friends’ houses.  I think I get bored there because we can do something one time, but the next time it’s against the law.  Their mother keeps changing the rules about what we can and can’t do, so we never know what to do.

A Good Book Helps From Annie Shapiro (CT):

When I was 7, 8, and 9 I used to be bored a lot.  “There’s nothing to do,” I’d complain.  I’m 13 now and I’m usually busy.  I have lots of pen-pals so there are always letters to write.  I can always practice for whatever theater production I’m in, or practice for my singing and dancing lessons.  I always have plenty of options. The most likely time for me to be bored is when I’m not in the middle of a really good book.  Usually if I don’t want to do any of the things I feel I should be doing (like answering a pile of letters or learning my lines), I’ll sit down and read until I’m in a better mood.  When there isn’t anything I really want to read, I have a problem.  It doesn’t help if my mom suggests things for me to do, and sometimes that just makes me mad (especially if she suggests that I help with some housework).  Unfortunately, at those times I don’t have much of a cure and just have to wait it out.

Suggestions Rarely Help From Lorie Broumand of Washington:

I find it extremely interesting that the question this time should be on boredom. It seems my most frequent word is “bored,” and my most commonly used statement is, “My, I’m bored.  If I don’t get a letter today, well, my day is completely ruined!” And I’m immensely well acquainted with every bump and notch in the ceiling. One thing I have discovered is that, at least for me, any suggestions I receive for cures hardly ever hel  You really must find an answer yourself.  Those numerous ideas from parents, etc. are usually never what you have in mind.  I have found no set cure, but my occasional suggestions for myself are often far better than ideas offered by other people.  For only you know your own thoughts and where something that’s interesting to you would be found.  I do a lot of daydreaming, reading, listening to music, drawing, looking out the window.  Now, a lot of people, perhaps, would not think of looking out the window as doing something, whereas if I’m in the right mood, or tired, it can be quite satisfactory.  Usually, when I do come up with an idea that makes me say, “Hey, I’ve got a good idea!”, it might  be something like doing watercolor, riding my bike, making clay figures, or convincing my sister to play badminton with me. A common occurrence for me is when I’m swimming in boredom, and maybe have fairly good ideas, but I’m too lazy to carry out those ideas, even if they don’t require much energy.  Therefore, often my most boring moments or bored moods are spent sulking on a chair or staring at the ceiling, when really I could be having a pleasant walk or a good bashing on the organ. Obviously, in this case it’s best to overcome the laziness.  Otherwise, I have no hints.  I myself am still searching for the answer - and encountering many a boring day in the midst of the searching.

Kids Have Different Ways of Coping From Graham Blake (ME):

The answer to the question, do I ever feel bored, would have to be yes.  When I left school, during seventh grade, my Mom wanted me to review everything since sixth grade which included, of course, fractions!  Although that would have to be the most boring part of homeschooling, now that I am in algebra I have found it to be very necessary. There have also been times when I have just plain thought that there was nothing to do.  Or that I have already done everything fun.  To get out of this I have it easy, considering I live on sixty-eight acres, and I go for walks.  If that doesn’t work there is always the video games, the SEGA GENESIS.  Then there is always reading one of my books.  After that is my fallback plan:  go explore the property. If that doesn’t work I have my post-fallback plan to call my friends.  However, different kids have different ways of dealing with boredom:  parents should know this.

Tension Can Cause Boredom From Dana Rees (MN): I am not usually bored.  I have so many things to do.  I can read, write stories, do my various studies, play with my dolls, curl up on my orange easy chair in front of my bookshelf and play library.  It’s a one-person game.  I’m a librarian, and imagine, for example, that another person is requesting books from inter-library loan, and I have to look up the books. I can also go outside and pick flowers along the ditch near my yard, or ride my bike.  In winter I ride my red sled like it’s a luge, or I make lots of snowballs, or I dig a cave.  I can always make up things to do. But sometimes I’m not in the mood to do things I’m supposed to do, like practice piano, or write thank you letters, or do my math.  If Mom tells me I have to do something and I really don’t want to, then I can’t use my imagination and have fun or find a good book and read.  Then I sit and squirm, not doing what I’m supposed to very well, if at all.  Then I am bored. Sometimes when I’m tense or nervous, I also get bored.  If I am waiting for something exciting like a soccer game, a piano recital, or an overnight at a friend’s house, I really can’t do anything well, even eat.  I am always ready and organized for where I have to go, but I have a hard time waiting.  Nothing works. Nothing holds my interest while I wait for the event.  Then I am in a bad mood, and I pick a fight with my brother.  I ask him for ideas of what to do, and then I disagree with him.  When the fighting is over, I generally do what he had suggested in the first place, or at least I get ideas from his suggestion, but if still nothing interests me, I just lie down and rest. At night when I’m too tired to read myself to sleep, I feel bored.  Then I just hug a teddy bear, pet my puppy, or ask my brother or Mom to read to me.  Most of the time, though, I don’t have any trouble keeping myself busy.  I love to do so many things.

A Day is Too Short to be Bored From Maryrose Dolezal (MN):

A almost never get bored.  I usually do things I enjoy, like talk to friends or my family, ski, read a book or a magazine, play piano, flute or violin, take a bath or walk, watch TV, play games, listen to music, work on an art project, decorate, babysit - the list is endless.  There are times when I feel overwhelmed because I want to do one thing such as read a book , but I think I should do something else, like math.  Two months ago I started two classes at the local public school.  They have made my life more hectic.  There are things we do sometimes that seem useless, but overall they are proving to be interesting, sometimes fun, and also educational.  This also adds to my never being bored.  A day is too short to be bored.

Many Options From Anita Gay (CA):

I rarely get bored, but when I do, I usually read a book or a magazine.  When there isn’t a good book around I’ll do something else I enjoy, like write a letter or listen to the radio. The reason I say I rarely get bored is that I have so many things that I can do to keep from getting bored.  I live across the street from a theater, and I interact with them a lot by helping them with their plays and sitting in on their classes. I’m also taking gymnastics, teaching myself piano, and doing volunteer work at the local library.  And of course I have my schoolwork to do. So basically what I do when I’m bored is turn to one of these many options, and then I’m not bored anymore!

“I Sit Down and Think” From Katie O’Day (AR):

When I get bored I sit down and think about what I can do, or sometimes I ask my Mom if I can hold the baby.  Sometimes I play with my brothers or sisters or read or write short stories, but most of the time I get some of my mom’s old catalogs and cut people out and play with them, or play paper dolls.  That is always fun. Today Mom is going to help us look for the bathing suit we want.  I am looking forward to that.

Never Asks for Ideas From Andrea Miesel (MI):

I don’t really ever get bored.  I’ve never been to school so I don’t know what it’s like to have to listen to something boring, except in church sometimes.  Then I get out a notebook and draw while I’m listening. At home sometimes when I can’t do what I want to (a friend can’t come play), I may sit around doing nothing for a while.  But my days are usually quite interesting. We have just bred my Holland Lop rabbits so I had to read a lot about how to care for them and the kits, which will be born in 31 days.  In the mornings I usually do some workbooks and keep track of what I’ve done in a notebook.  My 2-year-old brother is usually either playing with me or bugging me most of the day.  I’m just starting practicing piano again after not playing at all for over a year.  When I find a really good book sometimes I read for most of the day.  I also like to sew doll clothes I cut out without a pattern.  Now my mom and I are making me a skirt for church.  Today I decided to plant the sprout from an aloe vera plant for my room.  Oh yes, I often spend half a day cleaning and rearranging my room into a completely new place.  We also have chores. A few homeschooled friends live close enough to play with.  We go skating, skiing, swimming, and biking to the library.  So I don’t really ever get bored.  I never ask my mom for ideas on what to do because she always suggests work or says, “I’m not the entertainment committee.”

Just Watching TV is Boring From Maple Potts (MS):

I do not get bored very often.  Most of the time I’m either reading a book, doing something at my desk, using the computer, cooking, going to dance, piano, or Spanish classes, or doing my school work.  I usually don’t get to do everything I want to do in a day. When I’m bored, it’s usually when I’m over at someone else’s house and all I’m doing is watching television.  This doesn’t cause boredom at home because we don’t have a TV. When I’m bored at home I tell my mother and she usually suggests something I do not want to do, so I go off and find something for me to do.

Setting Priorities From David Rees (MN): I am never bored now, though I can remember being bored when I went to school, when I was stuck with dumb work, and I didn’t learn anything by doing it anyway.  Now that we homeschool, I am never bored.  I am always doing something.  When I am not playing piano, doing schoolwork, or reading, there seem to be even more things I can do. Schoolwork, such as math and grammar, is usually fun and certainly never boring when I do it.  Somehow, though, I manage to avoid certain subjects enough to drive my mother crazy; I’m usually too busy doing what I want to do.  I keep busy reading what interests me; for example, my favorite books, adventure stories, and articles on astronomy or geography.  I would rather be inventing, exploring, composing, or cartooning, than opening a math or grammar book, and heaven forbid, I should study spelling!  Besides, I learn spelling when I need it for writing and also by reading.  My options are limitless:  soccer, biking, playing, building, yard work, hauling wood, skiing, composing, inventing, programming, thinking, cartooning, and playing with and training our new puppy, to name a few.  It’s my time that keeps running out. That brings up the question of how I decide where to put my priorities.  How do I decide what I need to do and how can I fit it in?  Sometimes when the weather turns warm and nice during a week of otherwise cold, blustery, and cloudy days, skiing becomes the priority, for the nicest skiing is then, and we can do other things for the rest of the week.  Motivation has a lot to do with priority.  I have always been interested in astronomy, but while reading an astronomy magazine, I realized that to be an astronomer, I would need advanced mathematics.  I am now motivated to do math.  I certainly do not want anyone to tell me what to do, although suggestions are sometimes useful. Scheduled activities always get done.  Some are important, such as piano lessons and practice or soccer games and practices.  Others are less important, such as swimming and gymnastics lessons.  Other time-consuming requirements, such as doctor visits, pop u  The problem is how to take control of my schedule for myself to best accommodate the things I need or want to do.  I’m still working at becoming good at this.  I definitely have no opportunity for boredom.

A CONVERSATION WITH IVAN ILLICH

Many readers will recognize Ivan Illich as the author of such seminal books as Deschooling Society, Tools for Conviviality, and Medical Nemesis. John Holt spent what he called some of the most rewarding times of his life at CIDOC (Center for Intercultural Documentation), where Illich set up his “thinkery” (as he once called it) to explore the corrosive effects of institutionalization on culture and “vernacular life.” It can be argued that John Holt chose to shift his energies to homeschooling largely as a result of the time he spent at CIDOC with Illich and others. In October 1991, GWS reader Aaron Falbel visited Ivan Illich at his house near Penn State University, where Illich teaches for part of the year. The following conversation took place on a train ride between Philadelphia and Baltimore, and was further embellished through the mail between Cambridge, Mass. and Bremen, Germany.

Aaron Falbel: I’m sure that readers of GWS, many of whom have been inspired by your clarity of vision and penetrating analysis in Deschooling Society, are eager to hear your thoughts on homeschooling. Of course, it is very difficult to characterize the homeschooling movement in any general way. There are as many ways of doing it as there are people doing it. But John Holt maintained that homeschooling was both self-selecting and self-correcting, meaning that parents who decide to do homeschooling are probably going to be good at doing it, and that the subset of these parents who start out by replicating school at home are either going to learn (from their experience) to abandon that way of thinking or are going to become increasingly frustrated in their attempt to “school” their children, leading to eventual burn-out. Ivan Illich: What you just told me reminds me of a new word in German I saw recently. I wanted to buy some vitamin C. I found a bottle that was labeled Naturidentisch. For a moment I though that this meant it contained rosehips or something like that, but then I realized that the word meant the contrary: identical to the natural product, but in fact synthesized at a chemical plant. That’s what I think of when I see parents providing education at home. AF: In many ways the word “homeschooling” is a misnomer, since the learning that happens (i.e. what the young people do) does not necessarily resemble schooling, nor does it happen exclusively or even primarily at home. This has caused some people to adopt the phrase “home education.” II: I think the term “home education” is even worse. By now, education implies a diagnosis, the choice of a therapy, and the right to evaluate the results of the treatment administered. Those who provide it legislate what the child needs, judge what he or she still lacks, and administer or execute what they in their great wisdom believe will correct the defect. Viewed in this way, education is the prototype of a professional activity. Modern professionals amalgamate legislative, judicial and executive power - powers that the U.S. Constitution separates. When I go to the supermarket, I have the impression that I am standing in front of a mirror of modern society. Neatly packaged gooey stuff of hundreds of different colors and shapes line the shelves - all remedies for carefully researched and defined needs, each pronouncing a professional’s judgment of what you must not lack. The advertisement or packaging strives to convince you that you need this product. And the “nutritional information” listed along with the “percentage of U.S. recommended daily allowances” mystifyingly tells and convinces you that the producer - whether it’s Nabisco or the school board - knows what the right mixture or curriculum is to satisfy your need. AF: So education, if I understand you rightly, has become the quintessential prescription drug of our time, and we as a society have become woefully addicted to it. Unless the source of our addiction is understood and recognized (i.e. the belief that we are born in need of education), rejecting the professionally prescribed drug will only lead us to concoct our own brew at home, our own alternative “remedy.” II: Just yesterday in Philadelphia, one of my students came to me with this bottle after she had seen that I was in a bit of pain. She works as a health-care provider and prescribed these pills. Look what’s written on the bottle. “Active ingredient: chamomile, purified and deodorized.” I’d rather take my chamomile tea! This bottle, too, is symbolic for modernity, both straight and alternative. What modernity is about is the extraction of the active ingredient from nature. Transportation extracts the active ingredient from walking and calls it “locomotion.” This locomotion is then “purified” or improved from 4 to 40 miles per hour. And what’s beautiful about walking (or about chamomile tea) has gone out the window. No more stopping to greet a friend, no more chance to enjoy his or her company, no more smell of the humble chamomile, because two tons of metal (or the pharmaceutical deodorization) shield us from sensual contact with things as they are. Likewise, education extracts the active ingredient from living a full, inquisitive life, calls it “learning,” and then attempts to improve this learning through the bureaucratic administration of curriculum. AF: You’ve spoken about the dangers of a parent adopting the professional ethos, about imputing society’s “needs” onto the child. But what about the parent who does not act as an agent of the state but who takes full responsibility for his or her actions? John Holt maintained that it was only because he held himself personally responsible if a child wasn’t learning, as opposed to constructing alibis, that he could stand a chance of helping that child learn. I believe he even based this idea of “responsible teaching” on ideas that you and Paul Goodman discussed at CIDOC. II: Peace to Holt and shame on me. I do recognize the opinion you describe to a younger Ivan. In the meantime, I’ve become suspicious of anyone who uses the term “responsibility” lightly, as I too have done in the past. I was not then aware that only quite recently the idea of responsibility has come to be used outside of legal discourse. Increasingly, the term “responsibility” is used to mean a coin whose flip side is doabilty, managability. To act as responsible teachers only deepens the sense of parents that they can do it; that they can provide something that they will eventually call “education”; that they know what their child needs, what he or she lacks, and how that can be furnished. And the more deeply they feel responsible, the more they will be obsessed with a search for method - a method that allows them to do their job properly. AF: This brings up the question of just what the “job” of a homeschooling parent is, or ought to be. It is clear to me, at any rate, that the job of a parent should not be - in fact, cannot be - to make the child learn things (i.e. submit to lessons). The result of this would not in most cases be real learning, but only a child going through the motions of learning in an atmosphere of coercion. Instead, a parent can make aspects of his or her own life as visible and accessible as possible, and, additionally, respond to the child when the child asks for help, guidance, or advice. Do you see such a role of responding to asked-for help as a legitimate form of “responsible teaching”? II: True, the mother or John Holt will answer in response to the child’s inquiry. She will be responsive. But this readiness to respond, to listen, and to answer does not mean that the mother assumes a responsibility in front of the child. A judge might tell her that, in front of the court, she has a legal responsibility to feed or to watch or to restrain her child. It is in the interest of the school system to use the term “responsibility” in order to foster confusion between two entirely different directions in which a response can be given: affectionately to a person, and defensively to the judge. AF: Yes, I now see that the school teacher is caught in the middle of this confusion. John Holt, I think, wanted to make the point that we must not blame the child, that it isn’t the child’s fault if learning isn’t happening, but rather the fault (or the responsibility, in your legal sense) of the teacher or of something in the learning situation. II: It’s like the teacher’s “fault” as long as you stick to your scheme, as long as you live in the certainty that you can decide what you have to give. The opposite to this attitude would be the deep conviction that only the person to whom I respond can reveal to me my riches. It’s always the other who makes me discover what I have to give. It’s the little girl who surprises me with what she’s caught on to, the little boy who delights me by sharing his fresh insight with me, in whom it has gone stale. AF: This last point about “the other revealing to me my riches” relates to the discussion held at your house at Penn State the other day around the theme of “asking.” In many ways, homeschooling parents find themselves in the role of the “asker” - one who asks on behalf of another, “Would you allow this excluded person to enter into your circle of friends, your workplace, your club, your sports team, your church group?” In our discussion, these excluded people were people with “disabilities,” but our remarks could just as easily apply to children, who are likewise assumed to be “better off in institutions, attended to by professionals trained to administer the appropriate treatments. Children, in our society, are excluded people. What these askers/parents are asking of these other people is not for them to treat the disabled person or to educate the child, but rather that they offer a certain type of hospitality, that these excluded people be welcomed into and embraced by their community of co-workers, friends, and acquaintances. And this gift of hospitality awakens and allows other gifts within the excluded person to flower. II: What you say is obvious. It is beautiful. It’s crucial, and I have never thought of it. It proves what we just said. Over the years, I got so used to thinking about the responses the askers get that I never made the connection you immediately saw [between the flowering of gifts (on both sides) and my earlier remark about discovering one’s riches]. AF: Do you recognize homeschooling as an outgrowth of the ideas you discussed in Deschooling Society, as a community of people saying “no” to the institution of school? II: Yes. By all means. And with surprise. As my good friend Lee Hoinacki [also a homeschooling parent] says, each homeschooling family has its own and unique reasons for saying this “no.” I never would have believed that there would be that many different reasons for and ways of saying “no.” The readership of GWS, like the community of civic advocates [ i.e. the people who respond favorably to the “askers”], are among the most important proofs that industrial society is not really “addictive,” but “seductive.” The difference is decisive. As long as we believe that people are prone to a form of disease called “addiction,” then kicking the habit of cigarettes, heroin, or school is the result of therapy, perhaps a “self-cure.” Addiction implies victimization and protects against blame. But when we look upon our bad habits as the result of our own despicable cowardice and love of comfort, our attitude toward freedom changes. And this is what I have seen homeschoolers do. They do not behave as if they were “School-Addicts Anonymous” who need each other for crutches, but as a community of dissidents who enjoy each other’s company, encouragement, example, ideas, stimulation, and beauty. AF: What contribution do homeschooling families make toward the creation of the type of convivial or vernacular society about which you have written so persuasively and eloquently in so many of your books? II: I will never forget the anger of my friend Erich Fromm when I showed him the manuscript of Deschooling Society. He thought that this idea [rejecting the idea of education] was too much for him. Universal education through universal schooling seemed to him to be the most obvious redeeming gift brought to us by the coming of necrophilic, industrial society. Though he was very bright, it took him some time to get hold of what John Holt was saying. Homeschoolers are people who go to an extreme: they reject what (for a century) was believed to be the one unexceptional gift of the industrial mode of production. By rejecting the best, homeschoolers are among the most important agents of the decomposition of our most cherished certainties. AF: One last question. In light of what you said earlier about responsible teaching, how would you characterize your own activity as a teacher at Penn State or in Bremen, Germany? II: Aaron, I am still searching for the appropriate language into which we might cast the rejection of “responsibility.” I do think that this term is very useful in defining legal relationships between professionally certified service providers and their clients, or - and this is legally another matter - between providers pandering their commercial services and those who purchase them. In these two instances I would gladly stick to the legal usage that holds the provider responsible for the delivery of goods which, as a professional, he is mandated to provide and, as a merchant, he has advertised for sale. In both instances the provider may be held responsible in court for the quality of the service rendered. Whether that service is, in and of itself, any good, is then beside the point. I am presently sticking to the hypothesis that it would be best not to speak of responsibility in matters of mutual assistance, or help, or actions which bring pleasure. With regard to my teaching, I am a lucky man. I enjoy it much too much to feel responsible to students, to the chancellor, or to colleagues. Similarly, I don’t feel responsible to you: it was a joy to give you this interview! ———————Deschooling Society is available from John Holt’s Book and Music Store for $7.95 + postage (item #240).

FURTHER THOUGHTS ON SELF-ESTEEM

These writers are responding to “John Holt on Assessment and Self-Esteem” in GWS #85.

Helping Children Feel Capable Shari Henry (MN) writes:

Self-esteem has become the be-all and end-all in any discussion on parenting nowadays. I have to admit I lived my first years as a parent (until Bekah was born and was too sick for me to think of such things for a while) in many ways paralyzed by continual worrying about what I said to TJ and how I thought I phrased it. Many times I wouldn’t say what I felt, but what I thought I ought to say. One particular piece of advice I came across a number of times was that every child needs something (hobby, sport, academics, music, etc.) in which they excel in order to feel good about themselves. But I wondered why some people I knew who weren’t particularly excellent at anything struck me as so confident while others with walls of medals and trophies were seeing psychiatrists. Perhaps, I thought, I should quit worrying about every word I uttered to my children or whether or not they would ever be stars at anything. Instead, it became more important to find a way to let them know they are worthwhile in and of themselves regardless of outside accomplishments which society makes seem important. I also want them to know that their ideas are important, and don’t have to line up with mine (though it sure is easier when they do). At the same time, I want to help them become capable, functioning members of the family and society. Capable at taking care of the day-to-day tasks in a proficient manner, earning a living or reading a book or helping around the house, whatever. Finally, I would like to help develop what I refer to as “servant’s hearts” in them - people concerned with serving others don’t have time or inclination to become too self-absorbed. In an odd sort of way, serving others seems only to increase one’s self-esteem. I began to think back to my first year at college. Up until then, my area of excellence, thus a big part of my self-esteem, was my academic achievement. I was someone who, as Susannah put it, was good at jumping through hoops, succeeding to others’ satisfaction. Well, as it turned out, all of the students at the university which I attended had been excellent students in high school. All of a sudden, I was just average. In the course of one short semester at school, I turned from an A student to a C student. Needless to say, I was crushed and began to feel incompetent. After a year, I quit school and took some time to travel, work, and explore options before returning. Up until that point in my life, I would have told anyone that I had plenty of self-confidence, but I quickly realized that my self-confidence was completely based on the way others saw me, the way I was measured by the number of hoops I was able to jump through. Recently, some friends began to question how I could feel secure about TJ’s learning when I had nothing with which to compare it. While I could have ended the discussion politely by answering that I did indeed have a general idea of what 6 year olds are supposed to do and that I could always compare TJ with that. But instead, I turned the discussion around and asked why they felt it was so important to know where their children fell in a classroom and why it mattered. I was surprised by people’s strong feelings that we should all be concerned with whether or not our children are “normal.” Compared to “normal” kids, TJ did much too little schoolwork and much too much other kinds of work (housework, yardwork, etc.). The other day was a good example. No time for schoolwork. TJ and I left the house early to pick up the month’s order for my food buying club. We stopped at two warehouses, loading the car at each. When we returned to the drop-off site, TJ was expected (though not ordered) to help unload. Once all of the boxes were out of the car, he headed into the house to begin unpacking the small items and group them together so that we could easily check them off. By the end of the day, he had sorted vitamins, counted broccoli, weighed onions, helped women load their cars, and unloaded our food upon returning home. Many people feel like this kind of thing is too much to expect from a child, but TJ didn’t complain. As soon as he finished one task, he would appear to ask what he could do next. He talked, listened, and laughed with the rest of us. On the way home, he commented on what a great day he had and how he liked being old enough to help out with “grown-up things.” The next evening at church, my husband Tim helped out in the infants’ nursery and Bekah stayed with him. The church has occasionally asked us to encourage Bekah to go into the room with the other 2 1/2 year olds, believing that it was important for her to learn to separate from us and that she’d have more fun playing with the age-appropriate toys in that room. Each time, we politely refuse, as Bekah does not want to go. We explain to Bekah that she has three choices: sit quietly in church, go into the class with her agemates, or stay with mom or dad (whoever’s turn it is) to help with the babies. She always chooses the latter. And, to the other workers’ surprise, she is a hel She hands babies toys, talks softly during diaper changes, and walks the halls with us, pushing the stroller if a baby is particularly upset. While we try to let our children know how much we appreciate their help, we don’t worry too much about how we phrase our appreciation or if it is enough. Sincere gratitude doesn’t have to be fabricated, after all. I don’t want to sound as if we have this all figured out, because things are far from picture perfect around our house. But, by having my kids do “real life” things with us, I hope they will have a sense of accomplishment, a sense of being capable, worthwhile human beings. In many ways, I feel freer to mess up - if I lose it and scream for some ridiculous reasons, they seem to be able to blow it off without too much trouble, while at the same time letting me know they think I’m being unreasonable (Bekah is famous for yelling right back, “No say dat Mommy, don’t you eber, eber, eber do dat again!”). And, as far as academics, music, etc., go, I think kids are much more able to withstand being “slower” than others (or not getting too arrogant if they are “quicker”) if they are rooted in the first place. TJ is well aware that many children his age can check out a wide variety of books from the library and read them, while others are just now learning their letters. The only time he’s seemed to mind not being able to read was when it limited the parts which he could try out for in the Christmas play. When he shares this information with me, that’s all it is, sharing information. I don’t get the feeling that he rates himself because of it and I’m not sure I need to get all worried about how I should respond, what I should say. The important thing is that, more often than not, my actions show he’s needed and valued in my life.

Others’ Approval Matters, Too Kathy Dolezal (MN) writes:

I completely agree that setting one’s own standards at tasks of one’s own choosing fosters self-esteem. And I agree that parents often need to make successful experiences available to their children. However, we, adults and children alike, don’t choose and accomplish things only for ourselves. We gain a certain amount of self-esteem when we choose to do something and succeed according to our own standards. But our self-esteem also thrives when others are pleased with our accomplishments. When we support each other, when we give each other gentle pushes - words of encouragement to try something new, to venture further, to work at a seemingly insurmountable task - we are nurturing each other’s self-concepts. It’s a very delicate task - to be able to see just how much of a push a child needs without letting the push become a shove. We have to listen carefully to our children and to ourselves. And when necessary, for example when picking a piano teacher, we need to carefully help our children choose adults who know or are willing to learn the difference between encouragement which fosters self-esteem and shoving which destroys self-esteem. Through the years, our girls have developed many interests. The interests they’ve most often continued to pursue are ones in which they have received encouragement from Bob, me, or other adults, and from peers and siblings. For example, recently Theresa expressed an interest in learning French. We checked out books on France and French tapes, found some travel information, and I’ve kept my eyes and ears open for anything related to France. Eventually we bought a language tape. Sometimes Theresa gets out the tape on her own, but just as often I suggest we listen to it together. She’s always eager. Just when I think she’s lost interest, I’ll find her sprawled on the floor surrounded by books and articles, drawing a map or copying something about France. She’s sustained this interest for three months, but if she never received feedback from me or someone else, I’m sure she would drop it. When Katrina was Theresa’s age, she also expressed a desire to learn French. We checked out books, bought a tape, etc., but though I was only vaguely aware of it at the time, I didn’t make an extra effort to pursue French with her. We did try to find a tutor or others with whom she could share this interest, but it didn’t work out. She soon dropped French. I’m not implying that as parents we need to get intimately involved in every interest our children develo But when we are able to nurture their interests in a positive way, their self-esteem will rise. Self-esteem is low, high, or in-between, depending on how we define ourselves. And we define ourselves not only by how well we succeed according to our own standards but also by how others view us. When others view us as successful, our self-esteem rises. When others view us as unsuccessful our self-esteem will probably fall. It’s a rare individual who can continue to feel good about him- or herself when there is little or no positive reinforcement from others. About the question of socialization and self-esteem: it is very complicated. I firmly believe, on the basis of my experience as a former teacher and from observing my own children, that most of the socialization that goes on in schools is negative and some of it is truly harmful. Frequently self-esteem suffers. But the alternative of not having regular peer contact, particularly during the early teen years, can also be very damaging to self-esteem. I’m not thrilled about this, but I can’t deny reality. Some older children may very well be content, even happy, playing with siblings and/or having friends whose ages differ greatly from their own. I think this is especially true if the child has developed a consuming interest and has friends of different ages who share that interest. But now that my kids have reached the preteen and teenage years, finding good same-age friends has become very important to them. They seem to need to define who they are in relation to their peers. I suspect from talking to other homeschoolers and former homeschoolers that for many children, not having regular meaningful contact with peers is a major stumbling block to continued homeschooling. We did search for ways other than school for the girls to develop kinds of friendships they wanted. Five years ago we attempted to have homeschoolers be included in extra-curricular activities at school. Katrina had a friend who invited her to a meeting. The teacher who facilitated the group was very friendly and wanted Katrina to be included, but the school administration refused to allow her to participate. The following year, after we again contacted the administration, the school board adopted a formal policy stating that homeschoolers could participate in extra-curricular activities only if they attended school part-time. This policy is currently being unevenly enforced. Some homeschoolers are participating in after-school activities even though they’re not in school and others have been refused access to activities. The girls have been involved in 4-H, church youth groups, Scouts, community classes, and off and on a homeschooling grou These have generally been positive experiences, but never have they resulted in the development of long-lasting mutually satisfying same-age friendships. The kids they met at these activities usually knew each other and often talked about things that were happening at school. Both girls always had schooled friends but the older they got the more frequently the friends were participating in school-related activities that were not open to homeschoolers. Just as I could not ignore an expressed desire to play an instrument or study French or attend a camp, I could not ignore an expressed desire to attend school. So, at about the age of 13 Katrina and now Maryrose started part-time school. The last four years of part-time school for Katrina have definitely been the path for finding good (I can trust you to be there for me and I’ll be there for you) friends. Maryrose has attended band for a few years but started two other classes at school this year. It’s too early to say for sure what effect part-time school will have on lasting friendships, but so far Maryrose is glad she’s in school. Both they and I definitely feel that their self-esteem has grown as their success in school (which they couldn’t really determine before they went to school) has become apparent. And their self-esteem has broadened as their circle of friends has increased. The problem of same-age friends may never arise with Theresa, because she currently has a good homeschooling friend who is her age and who shares many of her interests. I hope that as the homeschooling population increases, it will become more likely that children who have the need to connect with same-age friends will be able to find satisfying relationships with homeschooling friends. We are currently part of YEAH - Youth Educated at Home - a teen group that meets once a month for a social activity. The kids in YEAH come from an area of at least 120 square miles. This group is more friendly and accepting than school groups and I hope it will help some kids find same-age friends without having to resort to school, but distance and differing interests are major factors. Though my own preference would be not to have to deal with a lot of the negatives of school participation, at this time part-time school has, in addition to giving the girls more peer contact, opened up opportunities for them to pursue interests in classes or after school, ranging from science to theater and speech, to sports, marching band and government. Their self-esteem has increased as a result of the increased opportunities for socialization.

Mother Learns from Daughter Alison McKee (WI) writes:

Susannah’s comments following the excerpt from the speech John Holt gave at Reed College in 1969 struck a chord with me. I am thinking specifically about the scenario she drew of a child who thinks she is dumb. Her parents try to convince her otherwise by telling her she is not dumb and, instead, quite capable. The child pooh-poohs this because, she thinks, parents have to say that about their own children. The reasons this struck me is that lately I have been having the opposite sort of reaction. In the past year or two I have become acutely aware of just how much my daughter is like me. She has taught me that I am not dumb. I have not had to convince her of her intelligence; she has convinced me of mine. I began to recognize the “lessons” Georgina offered me when I watched her sing and dance. Georgina can dance and sing for hours on end and experience complete bliss. She sings about her fears and dreams, and when she dances she dances to all the rhythms expressed in the music she either is listening to or creating herself. I have been in awe of her ability to express herself so clearly, so unashamedly. As I said, about two years ago, I began to recognize myself in this child. I began to remember my dreams of becoming a prima ballerina and singing the lead role in a Broadway musical. I too had taken my toys to my room and sung to them of my joys and sorrows of the day. After this initial reawakening of my childhood. I began to see more and more of myself in Georgina. Of course it was difficult to put my finger on all of the similarities because she is such a unique child. She is highly energetic. This did not seem to fit my pattern. Then I recalled a conversation I had with my mother before her death. We were, in fact, discussing Georgina’s inexhaustable energy. Mom said, “Alison, don’t you remember that I had to put you in the tub each night after school to calm you down?” I hadn’t associated my baths with my mother’s need to calm me down. In the last six months or so I have been noticing more of the less obvious similarities that Georgina and I share. I have come to believe that they had been hidden from me only because my school experience had masked them so well. Georgina has never had the school experience I had as a child and therefore expresses everything very clearly. I remember, quite vividly, playing secretary when I was a child. I would use my dad’s old medical journals as the source of my work. They were being thrown out so I was able to write notes on them, cut them up, file them, and read and underline in them as I saw fit. I mention the underlining because it was a significant task for me to be completing. I am not sure if I was reading the words I was underlining, but I do remember that I enjoyed what I was doing. This game went on for quite a while and as I remember I was not more than 6 when I played it. I repeated the first grade because I did poorly in my reading and writing. At home I showed interest in these areas when I was left to my own devices. The Dick and Jane readers we were learning to read from in school were boring. I hated them and as a result read rather poorly. It was at about the age of 10 that I began to become a more fluent and comfortable reader, but I struggled with all the reading that was required of me. In class, when I was called upon to read aloud, I stumbled along. I hated myself for this and grew to think of myself as a real dummy. I was still the slowest reader in the class and I had to confront this reality daily. It was painful. One summer my mom read to me the books we were assigned to read over vacation. I enjoyed this, yet at the same time her gift to me (reading aloud) reinforced the idea I had of myself. I was a poor reader. I am sure Mom read to me because she enjoyed it. She probably did not want me to suffer through such magical stories as The Wind in the Willows and The Secret Garden. At 6, Georgina was not doing what the school folks would call reading. She, like me, was playing readiness games just like I had with my dad’s journals. Georgina could read words that were significant to her but to make her sit down and read a simple book was like pulling teeth. It made no sense to ask her to do it because it got us nowhere. We could read to her for hours but she did not have the patience to read for hours on her own unless, of course, it was part of a game like I had played years ago. Georgina had an easy time learning to read. She read when the mood struck her. Most of the time, though, at 6 and 7 she was busy playing. She played school and lined all of her animals up at our blackboard to teach them the alphabet and numbers. (I always thought this an unusual game for a “homeschooled from birth” child to play.) She played safari with her Playmobile and she climbed the jungle gym in our yard as she sang her way through many a sunny spring and fall afternoon. She felt good about herself. She didn’t feel dumb because she wasn’t reading at somebody else’s predetermined level. Now Georgina is about to turn 10. She is fearlessly attacking her reading (when she is in the mood for it). I marvel at her. When she brings me difficult books and reads me a passage that interests her she stumbles some. I marvel because I never have attempted to read what she reads at the age of 10. I also want to help her because I think she is going to say, “This is too hard, I quit,” yet she never does. I never have to help her out. She reads with expression, too! I could never have attempted such a thing at her age because I was a poor reader. I have pondered this difference (yet similarity) between the two of us and can only draw the conclusion that homeschooling has made the difference for her, a difference that I never got to experience. I marvel at her because she does not think of herself as a failure when it comes to reading. Most important, though, she is not a failure. I now try to take some of this feeling of pride in accomplishing a task and fit it to myself. I am trying to see that my daughter’s successes were, in fact, similar to my successes as a child. The difference is that I was not allowed to appreciate them because of the circumstances of my education. A few months ago somebody overheard me reading aloud to Georgina. Later on he commented, “You really read well, Alison.” That was one of the first times that I began to take to heart that I am a good reader and I actually have some talent for reading aloud. If it were not for Georgina, Christopher (on whom I have practiced my oral reading skills for the past fourteen years), and my husband Bill, I may not ever have recognized this as part of me. Thanks to them I can now say, with pride, “I am a good reader.” Susannah’s question made me think of just how it is that through my daughter I have come to recognize as accomplishments many of those things I thought of as failures in the past. We should all be open to letting the children guide us to new understandings of the accomplishments we were not able to appreciate as traditionally schooled children.

OLDER SISTER TEACHES HISTORY

Last fall, Amanda Bergson-Shilcock (PA), who is 15, told us that she had begun teaching history to her younger sisters Emily (13) and Julia (10) and a family friend, Michael (9). We asked Amanda to tell us how this came about and how it has worked, and she responded:

A year and a half ago my mother started teaching a tutorial to my sisters Emily and Julia and their friend Michael. They do math things and English things and other special projects; they spent a whole month learning about different inventors, for example. It’s a chance for them to do some focused activities and a way for them to do more written work for their portfolios that the law requires us to kee I knew I didn’t want to be part of that because I felt the age gap was too big and it would be hard for Mom to make it interesting for all of us. But I wanted to be involved in some way. I’ve always liked the idea of doing a tiny bit of “schoolwork” each week - not a lot, and being able to set my own limits has been really nice, and I think it’s made me want it more than if it had been foisted on me. This fall, Mom said to me, “Would you like to teach something?” I hadn’t thought about this idea at all, but since I liked history so much that would be a good thing to start with. Mom’s tutorial is two hours a week and we decided that mine would be one hour a week. Emily and Julia were really enthusiastic when Mom said, “Amanda will be doing something with you later in the year.” I think they were excited about it partly because they feel closer to me in some ways than they do to Mom. Obviously they feel closer to her than to me in some ways, too, but I think they trusted me more to give them material that they would be interested in. I told them that I was not going to be an authority figure, and I sent all three a letter, very formally saying that I wasn’t going to grade anybody’s work unless they desperately wanted a grade. I was surprised that they all said they wanted me to grade some of their work over the year - I wouldn’t have chosen that, had it been me! When I took home economics at the local middle school I asked the teacher not to grade my work, but she wasn’t willing to do that. But I think part of why they wanted me to give them grades was to have an easy answer when their friends say, “I get straight A’s, what do you get?” That never mattered to me. I didn’t mind saying, “I don’t get grades,” but I guess sometimes it’s easier to be able to say, “Yes, I get A’s, too.” So I think they saw my grading them as a low-key way to be able to answer people’s questions easily. I think they knew that I was going to be encouraging about their work and wasn’t going to say, “You failed this.” It also helped that Mom told us that when she gave in our homeschooling outline to the school district at the beginning of the year, she didn’t say, “Emily and Julia will be learning a certain amount of history.” I loved having that freedom, because I would have felt a lot more pressure if Mom had put down that we were going to be doing specific things. I did a tremendous amount of planning before the first class because I was really excited. I went out and bought supplies and materials. But as the year has gone on, I haven’t used the materials much; I’ve mostly been following their lead. I told them we were going to concentrate on the Civil War period and the periods before and after it. I picked the Civil War period because it’s one of my all-time favorite periods to study, and it’s one that I’ve always wanted to know more about. I’ve always read a lot about it - historical fiction is the type of fiction I like to read most. I loved the PBS series on the Civil War, and Dad got me the book that went with the series for Christmas last year. The Civil War has always been interesting to me because it’s always been, in my mind, one of only two wars that have been justified. I knew a lot about it in general, but when we started to get into all the specifics together, I learned a lot that I hadn’t known before. We studied things like women’s involvement in the Civil War and African-American involvement. I brought in a bunch of photographs of black union troops and blacks helping out the confederate troops, and we made the distinction between how they were treated in the north and how they were treated in the south. We also talked about the Emancipation Proclamation and a little bit about President Lincoln. We would usually have a discussion first, and then I would pass around photos or whatever else I had, and then we would do some sort of project. Once I told them the quote from Lincoln, “A house divided cannot stand,” and we got out the playing cards to make a card house and talked about how a house cannot stand, literally and figuratively. At the beginning of the year we had a timeline that we worked on - a big sheet of paper that covers our whole dining room table. They decided what they wanted to put on it. They chose the beginning of the Civil War, when they were born, when our grandfather was born, when other wars were - what they thought was important. As the year has gone on, they’ve gotten less interested in that and more interested in another project. They each got themselves blank calendars and they try to write in famous people’s names on those people’s birthdays. It was totally their own choice to do this. I keep following their lead. When I was ready to go beyond the Civil War to talk about the Reconstruction Period, they wanted to stay with the Civil War, so I said, “OK, how do you want to do that,” and they said they wanted to talk about African-American involvement in the war, so that’s when we did that. Once Julia wanted to take a break from the Civil War to do the history of soccer, because she loves to play soccer, so I went to the library and got a book on soccer. I give them as much homework as they request. At the beginning, Emily in particular wanted a lot of homework and did it all, but now their requests for homework have gone way down. When they wanted homework I suggested things like, “Bring in a book on the Civil War that you find interesting,” or “Find one new fact for the timeline” or “Research a new person on the Civil War and tell us a little bit about that person.” I always emphasize that if they decide not to do the homework for any reason, it’s OK. Basically, I think the whole thing has worked extremely well. Once or twice Emily and Julia were upset at me and went to Mom, but there haven’t been any big problems that we couldn’t resolve. Mom usually asks me how the class went, and several times I’ve gone to her for advice about how to bring across a particular subject, but I don’t have to report to her about everything that goes on. She’ll probably include something about it in the end-of-the-year report to the school district, but since we didn’t make any promises at the beginning we don’t feel that we have to prove anything. I think Michael’s mother feels the same way. She doesn’t ask me too much about what went on, although Michael does keep some record of what we did so she knows about it that way. I think this class has built a bridge to a new type of relationship between me and my sisters. We have the relationship of my being the older sister, of my being in charge when Mom and Dad aren’t here. We have the relationship where I learn from them - the other day I went to see Emily work on pottery and she was teaching me about it. Now this is a whole new type of relationship that we can have. Some younger siblings probably feel bossed around already by their older sibling and they wouldn’t want to be in a class like this, but I’ve really tried not to have it feel like I’m bossing them around. I’ve tried to be open to what they’re interested in learning, and I think they appreciate that. It’s important not to plan too specifically what will happen. If you come in with the attitude that, “Today we’re going to learn these specific facts about Abraham Lincoln,” they’re not going to be happy about learning. I’m not happy about learning in a situation like that! That’s one reason it can be better for somebody younger to be a teacher, because they’re not so far away from the kids. Also, the vast majority of homeschooling parents weren’t homeschooled, so they don’t have the background of learning in this kind of situation.

LOOKING FOR . . .

Kids to play chess by mail Christopher Campfield, 3634 Hartford St, St. Louis MO 63116, writes:

I’ve been playing chess since I was 7 (now I’m 10). I play it because it’s fun. I play my dad and the computer. Now I would like to find someone to play chess by mail. My dad did this too as a youngster. Anyone age 9-11 who would like to do chess by mail with me please write.

Newsletter contributors Laura Pouls, 147 Canner St, New Haven CT 06511, writes:
I am an eleventh grade student from Brussels. I would like to start a paper which young people can feel part of and to which they can contribute. In it I would like to include recipes, proverbs, poems, current events articles, letters, personal views and ideas, recipes, stories, cartoons, and a section on music and the arts.

Jewish homeschoolers Susan Weintrob, 4604 N. Tillotson Av, Muncie IN 47304, writes:

I am currently researching the characteristics of Jewish homeschoolers. If you identify yourself as a Jewish homeschooler, I would appreciate it if you send me your name and address. I will send you a questionnaire. All replies will remain confidential. All those who have received questionnaires through the Jewish Homeschoolers Education Network need not respond.

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