L.R. Knost Quotes

“Instead of raising children who turn out okay despite their childhood, let’s raise children who turn out extraordinary because of their childhood.” ~ L.R. Knost, [Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages and Stages]

“Discipline is helping a child solve a problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem. To raise problem solvers, focus on solutions, not retribution.” ~ L.R. Knost

“And, while working cooperatively with our children may take more time and effort, the fact is that inviting cooperation rather than forcing compliance raises leaders instead of reaping followers.” ~ L.R. Knost

"Play is the language of childhood. Speaking our children’s language may sound like nonsense to us, but it sounds like love to them." ~ L.R. Knost

“Here’s the thing, effective parenting and, more specifically, effective discipline, don’t require punishment. Equating discipline with punishment is an unfortunate, but common misconception. The root word in discipline is actually disciple which in the verb form means to guide, lead, teach, model, and encourage. In the noun form disciple means one who embraces the teaching of, follows the example of, and models their life after.” ~ L.R. Knost, [The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline]

“Protecting our children from the cruelty of the world doesn’t mean shielding them from the realities of the world. Tell them the truth. Teach them to care. Give them a voice. Prepare them not to withstand the world, but to change the world.” ~ L.R. Knost

“Many believe that parenting is about controlling children’s behavior and training them to act like adults. I believe that parenting is about controlling my own behavior and acting like an adult myself. Children learn what they live and live what they learn.” ~ L.R. Knost

“The belief that children must be punished to learn better behaviors is illogical. Children learn to roll, crawl, walk, talk, read, and other complex behaviors without a need for punishment. Why, then, wouldn’t the same gentle guidance, support, and awareness of developmental capabilities that parents employ to help their little ones learn those complex skills also work to help them learn to pet the cat gently and draw on paper instead of walls?” ~ L.R. Knost

“Listen instead of lecture. Communicate instead of command. Relate instead of retaliate. Be flexible instead of being fixated on getting your own way. Seek to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. In short, behave the way you want your children to learn to behave.” ~ L.R. Knost

"You’re creating the relationship you’ll have with your teen now by how you respond to your baby’s cries, how you react to your toddler’s big feelings, how you guide your child’s challenging behaviors. It’s in the little interactions, practiced day after day, that healthy relationships are built." ~ L.R. Knost

“When our little people are overwhelmed by big emotions it is our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.” ~ L.R. Knost

“Broken children grow into broken adults. To create a more peaceful future, we need to create a more peaceful present for our children. Our world needs more heart-whole adults, not more refugees from childhood.” ~ L.R. Knost